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COI edit request edit
 | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. It was felt by a reviewer that parts of the proposal contained WP:PROMO material and/or tone that lacked a WP:NPOV; and that it required additional WP:SECONDARY references from independent, reliable sources. Another reviewer recommended removing product descriptions which lacked references. |
I'd like to propose a major edit to the Bug-A-Salt page. Below is my proposed edit:
Edit request
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Bug-A-Salt is the brand name for a plastic gun for use in eradicating soft-bodied insects. Bug-A-Salt was created by Lorenzo Maggiore and patented in 2012. The Bug-A-Salt device utilizes regular granular table salt as a non-toxic projectile for insect extermination.[1] The plastic gun is designed to spray up to 80 discharges of salt. The discharge forms a conical spread pattern, similar to the blast pattern from a shotgun.[2] The Bug-A-Salt device's efficiency in killing soft-bodied insects is due to the speed of the salt grains, and the reliable trajectory. When the gun is cocked, the projectile loading mechanism loads a predetermined quantity of the particulate projectiles into the chamber. In turn, the compressed air release mechanism is activated and the projectiles are ejected from the chamber into the barrel of the gun, where they are ultimately expelled. The Bug-A-Salt salt gun is air-powered and non-toxic. The device does not require batteries.[3] Michael Dickinson of the California Institute of Technology says flies cannot dodge the tiny salt particles but they will be protected by their arthropod exoskeleton and will only be stunned.[4] However, the inventor demonstrated in a video presentation that flies are penetrated by salt delivered from the Bug-A-Salt plastic rifle, the insects ultimately become dehydrated due to the infusion of salt and the flies die as a result of the penetration by salt delivered by the device (leaving them whole for easy cleanup).<[5] To operate the Bug-A-Salt device, users load the hopper with common table salt, and then cock the gun to engage the mechanism. Pop up sight will indicate the gun is locked and loaded. Once the insect target has been locked, the safety must be disengaged in order for the trigger mechanism to fire the gun and release the table salt.[6] The Bug-A-Salt device was invented by Lorenzo Maggiore, for the purpose of killing houseflies from a distance of two to three feet, and without causing the insects to be disarticulated or creating insect debris.[4] Maggiore reportedly invested more than US $100,000 in development of a Bug-A-Salt prototype. To acquire funding for development of the Bug-A-Salt plastic gun prototype, Maggiore produced a brief video in which the intended method of use of the Bug-A-Salt device and results were demonstrated. Maggiore submitted the product demonstration video to Kickstarter.[6] Kickstarter declined to fund product development. Maggiore attempted to raise US $15,000, through Indiegogo crowd-funding, in order to produce an inventory of 7,000 Bug-A-Salt guns.[7] Maggiore succeeded in selling 21,400 Bug-A-Salt guns, generating revenues of US $577,000 through Indiegogo, as of September 2012.[4][8] The SKELL INC. company launched its Bug-A-Salt product in 2012 on the Indiegogo platform.[9] At the close of SKELL's crowd-funding campaign, 12:00 midnight, September 11, 2012, the company had sold greater than 21,400 units of the original model of the Bug-A-Salt salt gun.[8] The classic model of the Bug-A-Salt 2.0 salt rifle is priced for retail sale at US $39.95.[10] Over 100,000 sales of the plastic air-powered salt array gun had been sold, as of 2014.[11] The Bug-A-Salt company reached over US$ 27 million in revenue in 2018.[7] The company currently has approximately 20 employees at the headquarters in Santa Monica, California. Maggiore owns the patent for the Bug-A-Salt device, and the product is manufactured in China.[7] SKELL INC. owns the Bug-A-Salt trademark.[8] The Classic Bug-A-Salt 2.0 product was launched on February 15, 2015. The plastic salt array rifle is constructed of non-toxic materials. The device is air-powered. Batteries are not required. The air-driven salt does not cause damage to walls, windows, or screens. The salt rifle features a pop-up sight indicator. The range of accuracy for this device is approximately two to three feet. This is the recommended range of distance for use of the salt gun to shoot common houseflies, mosquitoes, moths, poisonous spiders, small- to medium-sized roaches, and soft-bodied insects. The Lawn & Garden version of the Bug-A-Salt salt array rifle blasts a larger salt load, for use in eliminating common larger outdoor insects. The outdoor model bears a trademarked marketing slogan: “One Pump and It’s Over!.” This salt array gun is effective for exterminating biting flies, houseflies, moths, small- to large-sized roaches, slugs, stink bugs, cabbage worms, aphids, black widow spiders, leafhoppers, earwigs, and many other common outdoor insect pests. SKELL INC.'s Camofly 2.0 bears a registered trademark for the Camofly name. This product is offered in colors pink or green. Released in 2018, the Bug-A-Salt 3.0 is the updated version of SKELL's Classic Bug-A-Salt 2.0. The 3.0 version is marketed as the Bug-A-Salt BLACK FLY and ORANGE CRUSH edition. The 3.0 generation of the product features advanced functionality, including a cross-bolt safety mechanism, redesigned trigger mechanism, and an iron sight, or Patridge sight, indicator. The laser adapter is an accessory designed for use with both the Bug-A-Salt 2.0 and 3.0 plastic rifle models launched by SKELL in November 2017. The Bug-Beam bears a trademarked marketing slogan: “Once They’re Red, They’re Dead.” The Bug-Beam Laser Adapter Kit attaches to the end of the plastic rifle. Performance of this accessory product is in compliance with FDA standards. High-Performance Salt is sold under the Bug-A-Salt brand, through the SKELL INC website. The company began selling this enhanced salt product in mid-2018 for use with Bug-A-Salt plastic rifle models. The product consists of larger salt grains, which delivers a higher impact. The seller adds an anti-caking agent to the salt, to improve the performance of the product. Fuggin Maggots are sold by the company for users to grow their own living fly targets. There are approximately 50 maggots per container. References
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— Preceding unsigned comment added by Tayloreyelash (talk • contribs) 01:05, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
@Willbb234: I'm notifying you so I can have your assistance with getting this new information on the page. I want to learn and make sure I'm making this major edit correctly. Please let me know what my next steps should be. Tayloreyelash (talk) 01:05, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Tayloreyelash: I’ve added a COI request at the top, so someone should help soon. From a first read, it looks good but the second paragraph is unreferenced and there are no references for any of the product descriptions - I recommend you remove these. Regards, Willbb234Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 06:23, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
- Not only that, but I have serious concerns about the tone of the text. This would be great at a company website about the product; however, it feels too promotional in tone for a neutral encyclopedia article. I also agree that major claims in the article need to cite independent reliable sources. —C.Fred (talk) 13:23, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
- I agree that the tone is far too promotional. Some of the information offered is interesting and potentially useful, but it is worded in a way that is relentlessly sales-oriented. It is very important to find third-party references that are not themselves promotional platforms. Reify-tech (talk) 17:02, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
- Not only that, but I have serious concerns about the tone of the text. This would be great at a company website about the product; however, it feels too promotional in tone for a neutral encyclopedia article. I also agree that major claims in the article need to cite independent reliable sources. —C.Fred (talk) 13:23, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
@Willbb234, C.Fred, and Reify-tech: I added an additional citation in the second paragraph. When the article was written, we tried to re-write it using language and information from the cited sources, so if it's possible could you please make edits or let me know how to better work the statements so they are more neutral? I looked at the Nerf page and I see that they have products on there and they did cite the Hasbro website as a reference for a product. Would this be a possibility? Could I cite the Bug-A-Salt website at all? Or the re-sellers of the product? I originally thought this was against Wikipedia: editing policy, but maybe it is possible? I added a new reference to the price in the second paragraph under the "Company" section. Would love more assistance with fixing the edit and I appreciate all your help! Tayloreyelash (talk) 18:57, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
- It appears that you are under the impression that Wikipedia is a cost-effective form of promotion for your product. In fact, encyclopedia articles are intended to be concise, rather than an exhaustive account of a subject. You are, in my opinion, expecting far too much marketing help from a simple, general encyclopedia. Use social media instead.--Quisqualis (talk) 22:15, 16 September 2019 (UTC)