Talk:Brudenell Social Club/GA1

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 7 years ago6 comments2 people in discussion

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 19:28, 6 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Lead edit

best known as → which is best known as Done
It is a run as a 'not for profit organisation' → do you mean non-profit organization here? Done Yep Cavie78 (talk) 22:48, 13 November 2016 (UTC)Reply
two areas - a 400 capacity → two areas—a 400 capacity Done
and a bar area/games room → and a bar area and games room section. Done
It is a run as a nonprofit organisation and retains the → While being a nonprofit organization, it retains Done
a 400 capacity concert room and a bar area and games room section. The games room occasionally holds gigs alongside the concert room. → a 400 capacity concert room, and a bar area and games room section, which occasionally holds gigs alongside the concert room. Done
After falling into disrepair this → After falling into disrepair, this Done
Hyde Park's population, as more students moved into the area. → Hyde Park's population caused by more students moving into the area. Done
In 2004–2005 Noise complaints forced the club to briefly abandon gigs. → Between 2004 and 2005, noise complaints forced the club to briefly abandon gigs. Done
and installed and a new → and installed, while a new Done
'secret gigs' → "secret gigs". Done
of the 'best live music venue' in → Remove the ' Done
competition and was shortlisted → competition, and was shortlisted Done
2014 'UK Venue of the Year' → Remove the ' Done
'Britain's Best Small Venue' award → Remove the ' Done

Infobox edit

Everything seems to be ok :)

History edit

are not known → are unknown Done
After this plan fell through → However, after this plan remained unmaterialized Done changed to However, after this plan failed to come to fruition,
car park → car parking Not done car park is correct in British English
This clubhouse opened → Subsequently, the clubhouse Done
The Brudenell later → Do you mean the family here or the clubhouse? Done I've added a note to the lead to explain that the venue is frequently reffered to as simply The Brudenell
The Brudenell later hosted initial meetings by the group → ?? Done see above
In 2004–2005 → From 2004 to 2005, Done
badges and, in July 2005, hosted the 'Keep the Brudenell A-Live Aid' all-day gig in order → badge and hosted the "Keep the Brudenell A-Live Aid" all-day gig in July 2005 in order
club to an entirely public venture – a "publicly open, licensed place that runs as a social enterprise and reinvests its money" → club to an entirely public venture—a... Done
money" – with → money"—with Done
Because the Brudenell reinvests its profits, → As the club's profits are reinvested Done
and showers and upgrading the dressing rooms → and showers, and upgrading the dressing rooms Done
which Clark believes → you've already used "believes" before this; try a new word Done changed to "feels"
into two areas: a 400 capacity → into two areas—a 400 capacity Done
doors and a bar area → doors, and a bar area Done
working men's club";[2] offering → Replace ; with a normal , please Done
comfortable chairs → "comfortable" chairs (otherwise it may portray FANCRUFT) Done
the world and works → the world, and works Done
owned by the Clark's → owned by the Clarks Done
who can often be found behind the bar at the venue → who is often present at the bar (no need of so many details) Done changed to "who is often present behind the bar"
Overall, there are too many paragraphs in this section, and many of them could be associated with others as delving on the same idea Done I've combined some paragraphs
Can you please add an image of something to this section? It's pretty long and reading it without any thumbnails is uncomfortable Not done I'll see if I can get hold of/take a picture of the concert room and/or bar area but I don't have one right now Cavie78 (talk) 23:31, 16 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Notable performances edit

'secret gigs' → "secret gigs" Done
It has been described as a → Echoing this thought, the club has been described as a Not done It's not really echoing the previous thought
'Cribsmas' → "Cribsmas" Done
the shows saw the band play through each of the three albums they had released up to that point (The Cribs, The New Fellas and Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever) along with associated b-sides. → the shows portrayed the band performing material from their three albums they had released up to that point—XY...—along with associated B-sides. Done I think "saw the band play" is better than "portrayed"
In December 2008 the Cribs → In December 2008, the Cribs Done
of their 'Cribsmas' shows, as Live At The Brudenell Social Club → of their "Cribsmas" show as XY... Done
as a music venue.[2] The Wedding → as a music venue; The Wedding Done
who played these → who played at these Done
Leeds band ¡Forward, Russia! also played as part of the celebrations following their brief 2013 reformation → Band ¡Forward, Russia! additionally performed as part of the celebrations following their brief 2013 reformation (the fact they're from Leeds is overfluous)
the Brudenell's licencee → why is "Brudenell" italicized, and the correct writing is "the Brudenell" Done I have no idea why this was italicised! "the Brudenell's licencee" is the correct form here
Image > Set an "and" in the enumeration Done

Awards edit

In 2014 the Brudenell → Set comma after "2014" Done
Remove commas before and after "with Base Studios in Stourbridge" Done
the 'best live music venue' category → the Best Live Music Venue category Done
Remove the ' from "Rock the House" Done
'UK Venue of the Year' → same as above Done
for the NME's → Remove "the" Not done This is the correct form. The NME is referred to as "the NME" not "NME"
'Britain's Best Small Venue' → Remove the ' Done
and the Yorkshire & Humberside → and in the ... Done
Set comma after "In September 2016" Done

Footnotes edit

Set full stop after 2nd footnote please. Done

Other stuff edit

Copy-violation edit

22.5% is OK

Images edit

All OK with images :)

Links edit

No disambiguation links. Good job!

References edit

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article, and they cite reliable sources
No dead links! Good job!.

Outcome edit

I've put this On hold for 7 days in order to allow further edits to this article. Best regards and good luck, Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:34, 16 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Thanks very much for the review. Let me know if there are any further issues Cavie78 (talk) 23:31, 16 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Gladly passing! Great job! Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:13, 17 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Add topic