Talk:Blind Willie Johnson/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 22:50, 31 October 2016 (UTC)

Coming soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:50, 31 October 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• in the 1960s, due to his → remove comma
• both efforts spearheaded by Charters → both efforts being spearheaded by Chaarters
• practitioners of the blues → remove "blues"
• is also highly praised → which was highly acclaimed

Infobox

• For genres, occupations and instruments, use a flat list.
• 1920s-1945 → 1920s–1945

Biography

Early life and career

• instrument: a cigar → instrument—a cigar
• Little else seems to be known about Johnson's childhood but at some point → While few other information is known about the singer's childhood, he met another blind musician at some point named...

Recording sessions

• evangelist with "remarkable → evangelist with a "remarkable
• most established → most-established
• best exemplifies his unique guitar playing in regular tuning in Open D for slide → place "best" at the end of the sentence
• and according to Harris he → and—according to Harris—he
• according to Johnson biographer → according to Johnson's biographer
• spectating Johnson perform → spectating Johnson performing
• journeyed to Atlanta with Harris → add comma before "with Harris"
• in 1932; however, Johnson → in 1932, but Johnson

Later life and death

• of that cemetery → of the cemetery

Musical style

• Sam Charters in the liner notes to the compilation album The Complete Blind Willie Johnson wrote Johnson, in fact, was → Sam Charters wrote in the liner notes of his compilation album The Complete... that, in fact, Johnson was
• Johnson's style: "opposed → Johnson's style as being "opposed
• Johnson also delivered in his → Johnson also delivered vocals in his

Legacy

• was included because, according to Sagan → was included, as—according to Sagan—

References

• Please change the style into {{reflist|2}}

Outcome

AWESOME article!! You did a fantastic job on it ! I've put this  On hold to allow fine-tuning edits on the page before passing to GA. Best regards and good luck, Cartoon network freak (talk) 23:00, 3 November 2016 (UTC)

Cartoon network freak thank you for the review. I made the changes as asked, but I have questions about the last two alterations you suggest in the lead. Shouldn't the "blues" be kept in the sentence so readers know specifically what Johnson was a "practioner" of? Also, could you re-read your fourth recommendation because I read it over and over, and it just does not make sense to me in the sentence. Other than that, I am happy to say I like how the article turned out, especially when I consider the shape it was in not too long ago. Thank you again!TheGracefulSlick (talk) 23:43, 3 November 2016 (UTC)

TheGracefulSlick Hi there again! In the first case, I just wanted to say that you should remove overfluous "the", but I have made a mistake by writing "blues" instead. My fourth recommendation is meant to be a better solution for saying that his work was "praised", but if you think your is better, then just keep it;) Finally, I'm gladly passing this AWESOME article, and I'm going to fix the problem with "the" before enlisting this. Best regards and congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:41, 4 November 2016 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.