Talk:Aquaporin/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

I'll take this on. It's already clear, readable, and well cited. Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 14:48, 5 March 2017 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	I note that Saeed Malik acknowledges copying from Wikipedia in 2014. However some text seems to have been copied from aquaporins.org/aquaporins/structure.htm.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Requires a history section.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.

Comments

Lead

• Perhaps say right up front that their function is to speed the flow of water molecules, at the moment we have to wait to the last sentence of the lead to find this out.

Done.

• Lead should say they're found in bacteria, fungi, and plants as well as animals.

• Perhaps also mention a couple of the diseases associated with aquaporins.

Function

• Please cite direct quotations in first paragraph.

• Please wikilink or spell out "Da" at first usage.

Discovery

• "resulted in the presentation of a Nobel Prize in Chemistry to Agre" - does feel rather stilted. Please copy-edit (e.g. "Agre won the N. ...").

• "a long history of water pores ... many reviews of the history". Please provide either a paragraph or a separate section (immediately after the lead) on this history. Ref [18] seems to offer a ready route into that history.

Structure

• This section is necessarily technical, but should be intelligible to readers with a degree in another science (we used to be told to write for the geologist). I can guess what a "tandem repeat" is, but this sort of phrase must be glossed when first used - it rather looks as though the next sentence is in fact such a gloss, in which case a little copy-editing is needed to make this clear.

• Please explain what "ar/R selectivity filter" means at first instance. At the moment it's not explained until 5 paragraphs later.

• First diagram is partly labelled in German, and carries branding. It would be good to fix this. This is not a GA requirement.

• Second diagram caption says "The 3D structure of aquaporin", but there are many of these. Please label it as aquaporin Z, or if you wish say it's an example.

• Diagram (yellow background) in ar/R selectivity filter is also in German (all 3 labels) with branding. Again, would be good to fix this. Again, not a requirement.

Species distribution

• Are they not widespread in the animal kingdom? At the moment it looks as if they're in mammals and plants only. At least lead in with some statement of being probably widespread but little research, etc etc if there aren't many sources. In "Function" you mention "certain bacteria and many other organisms". Suggest expanding that claim and moving it here. Kruse et al 2006 states "archaea, eubacteria, fungi, plants and animals": please mention all five of these groups, cite them, and wikilink them. The paper mentions the fungi Saccharomyces cerevisiae (yeast), Dictyostelium, Candida and Ustilago and the "protozoans" Trypanosoma and Plasmodium. I'd say these should all be mentioned and linked.

• Please fix the uncited claim about silencing plant aquaporins.

Clinical significance

• Please cite the uncited claims.

• You might want to merge some of the very short paragraphs.

External links

• What is the function of the items linked here? Six of them were added on one day in 2008. Are they still necessary, given the article's development?

• The last Ext links paper, added in 2014, looks like a bit of advertising by its authors, suggest it should be used in text or else deleted.

Apparent copying

• I'm sorry to say that it looks as if some of the text has long ago been copied from aquaporins.org/aquaporins/structure.htm. Please look at the comparison and edit the text to avoid any close paraphrase.

Comments by proposer...

@Chiswick Chap:--Can you take a look at how I'm doing?Cheers!Winged Blades ^Godric 07:05, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

Sure, I'm keeping an eye. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:08, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

And can you please look the issues of diagrams? I'm not at all proficient working with images/files.Winged Blades ^Godric 07:05, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

Not to worry, they won't affect the GAN. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:08, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap:--And, I think it's ready for GA.Winged Blades ^Godric 09:07, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

Except for the history. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:08, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap:--Sorry,missed that.Anyways, can't find much on the issue to creste a seperate section.Maybe you could help with that.Cheers!Winged Blades ^Godric 09:14, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

OK, I suggest you start from Parisi et al 2007 (already cited in article) and say a few basic things about water diffusion through the lipid bilayer of the cell membrane (i.e. before people knew about Aquaporins). It cites 5. Paganelli, C.V., Solomon, A.K.: The rate of exchange of tritiated water across the human red cell membrane. J. Gen. Physiol. 41(2), 259–277 (1957) and 6. Goldstein, D.A., Solomon, A.K.: Determination of equivalent pore radius for human red cells by osmotic pressure measurement. J. Gen. Physiol. 44, 1–17 (1960) both of which are free to read (full text as PDF), so please look at them, cite them, and add a sentence or two on each of them, how they realised there were water channels of a certain size back there in 1957–1960. That will be enough. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:25, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap:-- Done.Winged Blades ^Godric 12:03, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

We're almost there. Do you prefer to format the names of authors in citations as "Doe JB" (that's Vancouver style), "Doe, J.B.", or "Doe, J. B."? Please choose one and format all of them that way. Chiswick Chap (talk) 12:58, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap:--Well, I am not very comfortable in formatting citations etc.Do you knowof any script which does that?Will be shortly looking at the copy-vio!Cheers!Winged Blades ^Godric 13:38, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

I'm sorting out the mess. The formatting is extremely simple, you just have to choose which way you want to write people's initials. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:52, 6 March 2017 (UTC)