Talk:Anthony Albanese/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: DTH89 (talk · contribs) 06:49, 7 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Steelkamp (talk · contribs) 09:06, 7 May 2024 (UTC)

I'm going to quickfail this review due to there being cleanup banners from as far back as May 2022. Some comments:

• There is hardly anything on his career between 2013 and 2016.
• The Leader of the Opposition (2019–2022) section could do with some expansion too, as indicated by the cleanup template there.
• Albanese's maternal grandfather George Ellery ran a printing business on William Street in Darlinghurst. He provided printing services to the ALP. It's not clear to me how this is relevant enough to Anthony Albanese to be mentioned on this article.
• As a lifelong supporter of the South Sydney Rabbitohs rugby league club, he... This should change to As a lifelong supporter of the South Sydney Rabbitohs rugby league club, Albanese... At the start of every paragraph, Albanese should be mentioned by name rather than by pronoun.
• helped by a particularly large swing to the party in Western Australia. Why was there a large swing in Western Australia?
• ...the result was also assisted by a number of "teal independents" winning seats from "moderate" Liberal members. This could be reworded. Labor weren't necessarily assisted by the teal independents, since Labor gained a majority in the House of Representatives. Some of the teal independents may have backed the Coalition if no party had a majority. I do still think though that the teal independents are important enough to the 2022 election to mention on this article. I just think this sentence should be reworded.
• Albanese, deputy Labor leader Richard Marles, shadow treasurer Jim Chalmers, and shadow ministers for Foreign Affairs and Finance Senators Penny Wong and Katy Gallagher... I would simplify to Albanese, deputy Labor leader Richard Marles, Jim Chalmers, Penny Wong and Katy Gallagher... It reads awkwardly otherwise, particularly the part about the senators. Their shadow ministries aren't particularly important when they have been sworn in to government.
• According to Australia's ABC News, the Governor-General, David Hurley, would not have sworn in Albanese without assurances that Labor could provide stable government, as well as legal advice that this was the proper course of action. Honestly, this sentence can be completely deleted. It goes without saying that the GG.
• Sometime during his 20s, Albanese also took part in a tour of the United States organised by the State Department... I would say United States Department of State, otherwise a reader may think this is referring to a State Department in Australia.
• There are a bunch of job titles that need to be fixed to conform with MOS:JOBTITLES.
• There is a picture of Albanese meeting with Antony Blinken, but this is not mentioned in prose. Also, Antony Blinken should be linked in the image caption.
• his shadow ministry... The link should be expanded to cover "his" as its not linking to the general concept of shadow ministry, but Albanese's specific shadow ministry.
• unlike his predecessor... I would get rid of this part. It's not immediately clear if this refers to Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten.
• The high interest rates and the Reserve Bank really should be mentioned.
• The new GG, Sam Mostyn should be mentioned.
• with plans to cut the immigration intake in half to 250,000 by June 2025. Is that per year?
• On 13 September 2023, the government passed the Housing Australia Future Fund, a $10 billion fund designed to build 30,000 new social and affordable homes over the following five years. There is no details on this? How does the future fund work?
• No mention of the GST debate, which has put Albanese in a difficult position.
• ...this is Australia's first budget surplus in 15 years... This should be past tense. I noticed there are some other parts of the article that should also be past tense. I recommend going through the whole article to check the tense is correct.
• Tip: When you have an portrait image, you can add "|upright" to the image to make it a more appropriate size. Otherwise the portrait images are a lot larger than the landscape images.

There are probably some more comments I could make, but that's where I want to stop. This articles does need a bit of work until its ready to be nominated again. Steelkamp (talk) 09:36, 7 May 2024 (UTC)

Thank you for the prompt review. I'll make some changes and re-nominate this article later on. DTH89 (talk · contribs) 10:23, 7 May 2024 (UTC)