Talk:Anca Giurchescu/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 19:33, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- The source link of the photograph seems to be dead.
- Any idea, even roughly, when the photograph was taken?
- No. Many years before this most commonly published image that is also not known when it was taken or by whom. SusunW (talk) 22:12, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- The lead is too long, relative to the article length.
- Suggest "In 1955, she was part of the team that won the silver medal and she won an individual bronze in the European Shooting Championship" → 'In 1955, she was part of the team that won the silver medal in the European Shooting Championship and she won an individual bronze'.
- "advancing to a senior researcher" Either delete "a" or add 'become'.
- "She married Lucian Giurchescu, a Romanian stage director and the couple had a daughter, Ileana in 1959" They married in 1959, or had a daughter in 1959, or both?
- "that defined the foundation of ethnochoreology as a science" This doesn't quite work for me. How can you define a foundation?
- Basically they created the field of studying dancing within a cultural context (i.e. not classical dancing, like ballet) and defined it scientifically by incorporating methods study from social sciences, humanities, and movement[1]. Perhaps defined the methodology for? SusunW (talk) 22:12, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
Yeah, I understand what they did; I'm being picky about your phraseology.I was being grumpy because it's late and I'm having a bad day. Apologies. How would you feel about 'that defined ethnochoreology and so founded it as a science' or something similar?
- Basically they created the field of studying dancing within a cultural context (i.e. not classical dancing, like ballet) and defined it scientifically by incorporating methods study from social sciences, humanities, and movement[1]. Perhaps defined the methodology for? SusunW (talk) 22:12, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- "In her work, Giurchescu considered" Optional: 'In her subsequent work'.
- "several times a year they returned to Romania" Optional: 'they returned to Romania several times a year'.
- "to study the ritual aspects of căluș" Could the sentence continue to give a brief explanation of what a "căluș" is?
- I am happy to bow to your greater knowledge, but I am used to seeing either 'Vlach people' or 'the Vlachs'.
- "Danish community of Vlachs, a Serbian ethnic minority which speaks Romanian" They should be introduced at first mention. And if you are introducing them, you should be consistent and introduce others.
- Okay, well, the source didn't define the Rudari and I certain see why. Origins are murky, but I think it is safe to say Balkans, and while our article says that they are a subgroup of Roma, Marushiakova/Popov pp 40-41, specifically say the Rudari refute connections with the Roma. I've amended it to say "study the Romanian-speaking Rudari, a Balkan ethnic minority and Vlach people, a Serbian ethnic minority" at the first instance and deleted it here. Done SusunW (talk) 23:05, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- "She continued to write about the methodolgy and theory of conducting field research[7] and her final research, in conjunction with Margaret H. Beissinger and Speranța Rădulescu, Manele in Romania: Cultural Expression and Social Meaning in Balkan Popular Music, was posthumously published and dedicated to Giurchescu." A slightly long and hard working sentence. Can I suggest a semi colon after Radulescu? Or, better, a full stop (period).
Fine stuff, a pleasure to review. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:33, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- A couple of comments on your comments above. And so to bed. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:30, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- Sleep well my friend. I'm off to make dinner. SusunW (talk) 23:21, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- Excellent work. I expected no less. Promoting. I probably should eat a banana. And I really am going to bed now. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:24, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
- Sleep well my friend. I'm off to make dinner. SusunW (talk) 23:21, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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