Talk:Adolfo Rodríguez Saá/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by MPJ-DK in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 13:07, 27 March 2016 (UTC)Reply


I will be picking up the review of this one - both for the Wiki Cup and the GA cup as well. I will be making my review comments over the next couple of days.

Side note, I would love some input on a Featured List candidate (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) and a Featured Article candidate (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship). I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated.  MPJ-US  13:07, 27 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

GA Toolbox

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I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer review tool
  • WP:LEAD - articles this size should have 1-2 paragraphs, I would like Good Articles to always aim for the higher number so two would be needed here.
Copyright violations Tool
  • No issues  Y
Disambiguation links
  • No issues  Y
External links
  • No issues  Y

Well Written

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Lead
  • "presidential elections, but did not win" does not need a comma
  • "resigned some days later" you can leave out the word "some", simplify it
Early life
  • "his graduation, and worked" does not need the comma
Governor
  • "production, and measures" how about using "as well as" to seperate the two so that it's not three "and" in a row?
  • "Although Duhalde lost the elections to the radical Fernando de la Rúa, Rodríguez Saá was again re-elected as governor." That seems like an odd phrasing - like it was a surprise that Rodríguez Saá won even though de la Rúa did not become president? is there a correlation?
Presidency
  • PJ is used without being explicitly defined initially.
  • "got a mandate of interim president" I belive "the mandate" is appropriate here.

"The new president completed de la Rúa's term of office." - not sure what that means?

  • I would add ("double simultaneous voting") after Ley de lemas to help us understand it a bit better without having to go somewhere else.
  • "included Carlos Grosso" was Grosso part of the unrest, or part of what they were protesting?
  • "which was celebrated by the chamber of deputies but was" - was it really celebrated that they took such an extreme step? and I would replace "but' with "and"
  • "resented" should be "rescented"
  • IMF needs to be defined.
  • "He called for a meeting" Saa or Krueger? the way it's written it refers back to Krueger, who I thought was a woman? I am confused.
  • "but only six governors attended" out of how many? Put it in perspective for us please.
  • "Maza and the minister Rodolfo Gabrielli" does not need "the"
  • "in Cadena nacional" should be "a Cadena nacional"?
  • What was Eduardo Camaño's role at the time?
Post-presidency
  • "to run for presidency" should be "to run for the presidency"
  • "after both of them and Ricardo López Murphy" reprashe it to something along the lines of "behind both ofthe other PJ candidates and Ricardo López Murphy"
  • "Both of them and Menem" should be rephrased along the lines of "Together with Menem Saa and his brother"
  • "San Luis for this group" should be "San Luis representing this group"
  • "He has been a senator since then." can you please list what years he was reelected to ensure we know the article is up to date.
  • "Rodrígues Saá has worked as a cattle rancher in San Luis since his defeat in the 2003 elections." - I thought he was a Senator, is that not a full-time job?
Kidnap
  • I think it should be titled "Kidnapping"
  • This seems oddly out of sequence, jumping back to 1993 instead of being chronological?
  • "million dollars, and was" does not need the comma
  • "their sentences, and currently" does not need the comma

Sources/verifiable

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  • The reflist should be {{reflist|30em}}
  • Look reliable, well formatted etc.

Broad in coverage

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  • Its really got very little, if anything at all about him after 1983 except for his political career. Is there nothing at all that can be added?

Neutral

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  • Yes  Y

Stable

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  • I don't see any issues on the aticle history in regards to edit warring etc.

Illustrated / Images

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  • No issues, all appropriate and licensed correctly.
  • @Cambalachero: - My review is complete, not a lot of issues, partially due to the League of Copy Editors it seems, so great work. I am going to put this on hold for seven days to allow for these issues to be addressed. Let me know if you have any questions.  MPJ-US  21:27, 29 March 2016 (UTC)Reply
    • Done. Some clarifications. As it says, Grosso was appointed chief of cabinet, so the context makes it clear that the "it" that includes him is the cabinet. The unrest was because, as pointed one sentence later, he was a very unpopular politician. Yes, the legislators celebrated the default with cheerings and chants, there is no mistake or misunderstanding there. The reasons are a bit complex and off-topic here (I will explain at your talk page), it is suffice to say that it happened. And yes, being a senator should be a full-time job... in theory. This is Argentina we are talking about. I renamed the section about the kidnapping to "Personal life", so it's more clear why it's out of order in relation to the others, and moved the part about the ranch there as well. Remember that this is an obscure politician, governor of a small province, who jumped to notoriety for his controversial handful of days as president, and then returned to the obscurity of the small provincial posts. Little of anything else he does is noteworthy for the newspapers, and nobody really cares about his personal life. In fact, I'm working in this article simply because I'm working with all the heads of state of Argentina and he's among them; otherwise, a senator and former governor of a small province would likely have stayed a stub forever. Cambalachero (talk) 16:34, 30 March 2016 (UTC)Reply