Talk:2019 Tour de France/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 17:09, 11 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Will review this article. MWright96 (talk) 17:09, 11 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead

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  • Wikilink the first mention of the word teams to cycling team
      Done
  • "to take the first yellow of the Tour." - yellow jersey
      Done
  • "which was shortened by bad weather." - inclement
      Done
  • "The team classification was won by Movistar Team and Alaphilippe won the award for most combative rider." - close repetition of the word "won"
      Done

Teams

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  • Wikilink the first mention of the term team to Cycling team like in the first query of the previous section
      Done
  • "and all of its eighteen UCI WorldTeams were entitled," - should the text in bold be changed to 18 per MOS:NUMERAL since numbers are used earlier on?
    I write numerals up to "twenty" unless it's a stage, distance, exact time or if there's a few numerals in one sentence. It gets very confusing/messy when there's so many... BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The three French teams and one Belgian team" - try to avoid close repetition of the same or similar word if possible
      Done

Pre-race favourites

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  • The entire third paragraph could be better off divided into two to improve readability and comfort
      Done
  • "Fuglsang had enjoyed a highly successful spring campaign," - it is generally not recommenced to mention seasons per MOS:SEASON
    Reworded to "spring classics campaign", which is what the early-season one-day races are known as. BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Route and stages

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First week: Belgium, north-eastern to southern France

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  • "but following him crashing in the closing 2 km (1.2 mi)," - I believe this section of text can be reworded a little different because I did not 100 percent understand what was supposed to state
    Reworded to "Stage 1's bunch sprint finish was won by Team Jumbo–Visma's Mike Teunissen. He was iniatlly a member of the team's sprint train who were leading out their designated sprinter Dylan Groenewegen, but following Groenewegen's crash in the closing 2 km (1.2 mi), Teunissen was free to race in the sprint."
  • "gain a lead of over 8 minutes." - more than
      Done
  • "The gap down to under a minute in the final kilometres," - This appears to be an incomplete portion of text
    Reworded to "With the breakaway's advantage down to under a minute in the final kilometres," BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "and avoided an early disaster." - think this is a tad informal
    Reworded to "Defending champion Geraint Thomas survived his second crash in this edition of the Tour."? BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "put in an effort to reel him in" - same issue as the third query in this sub-section
    Reworded/removed large parts of stage 9. BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Second week: Southern France and Pyrenees

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  • "A notable abandonment of the stage was the reigning world time trial champion Rohan Dennis (Bahrain–Merida), a favourite for the following stage's time trial." - maybe you can state the reason why Dennis withdrew from the race?
    It was all rather bizarre at the time, and he only just spoke about it in January. I don't feel we need to delve into it. Now "A notable abandonment of the stage, for personal reasons, was". BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "achieving a "'stunning" victory on a day" - according to whom?
    Changed to "unexpected". BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
    Removed as its superfluous. Now: "achieving a victory on a day where he was expected to lose time to riders such as Thomas". BaldBoris 13:50, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "moving himself up to fourth overall." - progressing
      Done
  • "Alaphilippe was beating expectations" - more formal; exceeding
    I take it you meant "beating" → "exceeding". BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "who now had an 85 points lead" - can be changed to an 85-point lead or a lead of 85 points
      Done

Third week: Southern France, Alps and finale in Paris

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  • "with led of 37 seconds." - typo; the text in bold must be written as a lead
      Done
  • "The 34-strong breakaway reduced" - was reduced or had been reduced
      Done
  • "and was two minutes behind over the top." - not sure what the phrase "over the top" refers to in this instance
    Changed to "at the summit". BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The bad weather also caused the penultimate stage" - more formal; inclement
      Done
  • Delink Latin American per MOS:OVERLINK since it is a major geographical region
      Done

Classification leadership and minor prizes

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  • "These bonuses replaced the special sprints that were a feature in the 2018 edition." - perhaps it can be stated why this change occurred if that information is available
  • "the leading team was the team" - try to avoid close repetition of the word "team" and use an alternative word where possible
    Changed to "the leading team was the one". BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "The riders on the team that lead this classification" - led
      Done
  • "The winner wore a red number bib the following stage." - for the
      Done
  • "awarded by a jury.[87][83]" - refs should be in numerical order
      Done
  • "The team classification winners were given €50,000." - how about earned instead for variety?
      Done
  • "Thibaut Pinot won the Jacques Goddet and Egan Bernal won the Henri Desgrange." - try not to repeat the word "won" closely in the same sentence
    Changed to "Thibaut Pinot won the Jacques Goddet and Egan Bernal claimed the Henri Desgrange" BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "and Egan Bernal won the Henri Desgrange.[64][35]" - same issue as the fifth query in this sub-section
      Done

UCI rankings

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  • "The points accrued by Egan Bernal moved him from 23rd to seventh in the individual World Ranking " - should that be changed to sixth according to the ranking tables below?
      Done

References

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  • References 19 and 25 should include the original French wording of the title of the respective articles alongside their English translations
      Done
  • Reference 35 is missing the author of the article
      Done
  • Reference 39 is missing the date it was accessed
      Done (diff)
  • "Tour de France 2019 - Stage 20 shortened due to poor weather conditions and possible landslides" - an en dash should replace the hyphen in this article title
      Done

The main issues with the article are with the prose, especially with a few instances of informality and instances of future tense when it should be written in the past tense. Am going to put the review on hold to give the nominatior time to correct these errors. MWright96 (talk) 19:58, 11 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

All done apart from some that'll need looking at. Thanks for the great review. BaldBoris 13:41, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply