Talk:2002 FIFA World Cup final/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Amakuru in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:37, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "the United States in the quarter-final" so for me, when I'm talking about the round in general, I'll give it the "quarter-finals" and when I'm talking about "their specific" match, I'll give it the "quarter-final". If that makes sense?
  • "estimated 1.5 billion " non-breaking space.
  • "later, when" no comma required.
  • "passing towards Rivaldo. Rivaldo let" repetitive.
  • "record As of 2021" -> lc=yes
  • "Japan and South Korea between 31 May and 30 June 2002.[1][2] Japan and South Korea" a little odd repeating that phrase and linking the sides the second time round, and I know exactly what you're doing. Maybe a gentle addition of "The national sides of" or something in the second sentence?
  • "at International Stadium" +the (could be my fault that one).
  • "attended matches in this stadium throughout" -> attended matches there throughout.
  • "was a new record" what sort of record?
    I've removed, as the source doesn't appear to say it anyway.  — Amakuru (talk) 19:01, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "final over radio and television" no need for those links.
  • "In totality" total?
  • "only later to be broken in 2006)" link the 2006 final here?
  • Some of this background might be better for post-match, the viewing figures etc are part of the post-match analysis after all.
  • "Germany-South Korea match" en-dash and link?
  • "a ball specifically" repeat of ball.
  • "The ball's design" ditto, "Its design..."?
  • "and color usage" which variant of ENG here?
  • "was entirely based" is "entirely" needed?
  • "refined syntactic foam layer" wut?
  • "superior performance characteristics" advert.
  • "more precise and predictable flight path" ditto.
  • "was notoriously criticised" notorious?
  • "some spectacular goals" according to whom?
  • "ball as being "too big" TOO BIG??! Wasn't it within the parameters of the rules governing "ball size"??
  • "stage, in which they" ->"stage where they"
    I usually suggest the opposite when I'm reviewing your articles! I kind of think a stage is not a place so "in which" sounds better, although "where" isn't totally prohibited of course.  — Amakuru (talk) 18:44, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
    Ha ha. To each, their own. This is GAN after all. I'm sure all foul language can be picked up later. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 18:48, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "prior to the 2002 World Cup including" do you mean the finals?
  • "The injury was sustained in a friendly match against Austria" weave that into the previous sentence.
  • "Between the 1998 loss and" Between that defeat.
  • "tournament, followed by" full stop after tournament, and "He was followed....
  • "winning just four" -just.
  • "who referred a more different style of football from his predecessors" wut?
  • "called "bullyboy soccer". " cite.
  • "In this style of play emphasis was placed on aggressive play ... finesse play" play play play (sounds decidedly USENG too)....
  • "several friendlies as " already linked.

Takes me to "Route to the final", more to come. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 17:57, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • "they won 8–0." could note it was Germany's biggest ever World Cup win? source
  • "the Sapporo Dome against" where?
  • "team to score a goal" no need for "a goal".
  • "stoppage time at the end of the game" maybe "second-half stoppage time"?
  • "at Shizuoka Stadium one" the? and where?
  • "at Jeju World Cup Stadium" similar.
  • "There were no goals scored in the first half and well into the second half, until the 88th minute" The first half ended goalless ....
  • "the United States. The American team had more shots on goal than the Germans, by 11 to 6, but Germany nonetheless won the " -> "the United States who had more shots on goal, but Germany won..."
  • "the single goal scored" nope.
  • "South Korea Like the" wut?
  • "and once again it was Ballack" journalese.
  • "received a uellow card" really, a uellow? I hate that colour.
  • "Four minutes before the goal, Ballack had received a uellow card for a foul on Lee Chun-soo; as this was his second booking of the tournament, Ballack was suspended from the final" Four minutes before scoring, he had been shown the yellow card for a foul on Lee Chun-soo and was suspended for the final for receiving his second booking." or similar.
  • "Turkey, who went on to finish second in the group" not sure about this?
  • "scored, leaving Brazil down 1–0 at half-time" no need for that second clause really.
  • "levelled the scores at 1–1 in the" levelled the match at...
  • "50th minute. In the 86th minute" maybe "50th minute. Four minutes before the end of regular time..."?
  • "brought down" fouled? linked?
  • "the penalty area, prompting" link.
  • "prompting a red card for Alpay" sounds too passive for me, and link red card even though you've linked sent off.
  • "Rivaldo was later fined 11,670 Swiss francs by FIFA following a video review" this probably ought to be in the post-match (it's legendary after all).
  • "at Ulsan Munsu Football Stadium, Brazil" the, where?
  • "Belgium in Kobe." previously you name the stadiums?
  • "scoreless until he 67th minute, when Rivaldo scored" scoreless/scored repetitive.
  • "Ronaldo added on a second" no need for "on".
  • "England in the quarterfinals, with England taking" repetitive.
  • "in the first half's stoppage time" in first half stoppage time.
  • "forward Ronaldinho scored" you've mentioned him before, don't start describing his position here.
  • "with only 10 men" -> "with ten men"
  • "into the semi-finals to face Turkey.[16] In the semi-final, Brazil faced Turkey " repetitive ++.
  • "at Saitama Stadium" the? where?
  • "when Ronaldo scoring what" scored. And how?

That takes me to the "Match" section, more to come. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 18:17, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • "Germany's Ballack, who had scored the winning goals in both the quarter-final and semi-final, was suspended for the final and was replaced by Jens Jeremies" we know he scored those goals, and that he was suspended...
  • "the semi-final game against" no need for "game".
  • "having been a "poor replacement" for Ronaldinho having been" repetitive.
  • "remption" what is that?
  • "noted The Germans could" I love this Germanic capitalisation but no.
  • "one goal, to Robbie Keane of Ireland" no need for the Keane clause.
  • "final. Collina was described" He was...
  • "and As of 2021 he" lc=yes again.
  • "had an opportunity " +to score
  • "behind by Edmílson." overlinked.
  • "Germany crossed the ball into" the whole country? And overlinked.
  • "Brazilian penalty area four minutes" overlinked.
  • " and was retrieved by Oliver Neuville on the" overlinked.
  • "25 yards (23 m) out" no need for "out".
  • " bar from long range in the 44th minute" two minutes later?
  • "when a Roberto Carlos pass" overlinked.
  • "hit the shot well" POV.

That takes me to the "Second half" section. More incoming. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 18:35, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • "when a corner found him in" sounds bizarrely passive.
  • "a free kick from" link.
  • "where Gilberto Silva met the" overlinked.
  • "Then Ronaldo hit" personal, but "Ronaldo then hit..."
  • "Frings at the other end with Fring's" gah.
  • "shot hit over the crossbar. A shot" shot shot.
  • "catch the shot, but he was unable to catch it " catch catch...
  • "Ronaldo, who had followed Rivaldo's shot took advantage" comma after shot.
  • "pitch 1 yard (1 m) outside" could we say "just" rather than this??
  • "pass through his legs, and the pace on Kléberson's pass " pass used twice in quick succession and meaning different things.
  • "tracked back well" (a) wut? and (b) well per whom?
  • " and shot the ball into" struck?
  • "their best chance of the game" according to whom?
  • " first time shot" shouldn't first-time be hyphenated in this usage?
  • "Germany were unable to threaten for the rest of the match" well no, they were fully able to do so, they just didn't. And I'd try a concluding sentence here too.
  • "which As of 2021 remains" c'mon....
  • "present, the Japanese emperor Akihito did not join the ceremony of presenting" present/presenting...
  • "winner Pelé handed the trophy" handed? gave?
  • " whole – As of 2021 the only" cmon.....
  • "Kahn also received the Golden Glove for best goalkeeper at the World Cup" He also... at the tournament.
  • "champions - that is" en-dash.
  • "their sole victory since" +tournament.

That's my lot (refs not included). The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:00, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man: thanks for the detailed review, and apologies for the minor errors that I should have eliminated before! I think I've looked at everything so far. Cheers  — Amakuru (talk) 23:13, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply