Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Hurva Synagogue/archive1

Resolved comments from The_ed17

• Addressed reference comments from The_ed17
  • Current refs 3, 38, 43 need additional information (publishers etc)
    • I have added the publisher of the material. Am not sure what else is required here. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
      • Accessdates, author(s)? Templates can help here; in this case, it would be {{cite web}}. —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 00:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
        • Have added as much info that is available. Chesdovi (talk) 01:52, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Ref 45 needs to be tweaked to be consistent with the other references.
    • Am unsure what is needed here; should this reference be moved to the "Newspapers and magazines" section? Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
      • Probably. You also need to look at where the date is placed when compared with your other sources. —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 00:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
        • Done? Chesdovi (talk) 01:52, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
  • I doubt this meets the "high-quality" criterion of WIAFA: Jeffers, H. Paul. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jerusalem, Alpha Books, 2004. ISBN 1592571794
    • It is being used for a quotation contained in the book. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
      • That still doesn't make it reliable, see Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2008-06-26/Dispatches. —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 00:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
        • Quote removed. Chesdovi (talk) 01:52, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Is there a more permanent and direct link to current ref 5?
    • Replaced with newspaper reference. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Current ref 27 was written in 1878? Not according to your bibliography...
    • Added original publishing date as [C. Kegan Paul & Co., London, 1878]. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Should ref 42's title be italicized?
    • If required for linked books, I have done so. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

• Addressed prose comments from The_ed17
• Thanks for your time and effort given here. I will try to address your comments and have rewritten the bulk of the relevant section. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Biased wording: "The planners and architects involved in developing the area were all secular. They stressed the nationalist basis of the project and rejected the traditional religious character of the area. When “reconstruction” became the official religious and right-wing position, it became unacceptable to them."
  • Am not sure where the bias lies here. Secular is used as opposed to religious. In this case, their outlook was nationalist. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
    • Regardless of whether it us biased, it really sounds biased. Is there a way you could reword it? —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 00:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
      • Reworded. Chesdovi (talk) 01:52, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "From the 13th century, the site where the Hurva Synagogue stands today has been a courtyard and synagogue for the Ashkenazi community of Jerusalem."
    • you mean "had been"?
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "The area is mentioned by Obadiah ben Abraham in 1488 who mentions a large courtyard containing many houses for exclusive use of the Ashkenasim, adjacent to a "synagogue built on pillars," referring to the Ramban Synagogue"
    • you mean "was mentioned"?
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "The sudden arrival of the large group put pressure on the community’s resources and although they were left leaderless when he-Hasid died a few days later, they persisted to establish themselves in the city."
    • Not sure you need "sudden" here. Why did they put pressure on the community? They didn't take care of themselves? Needs copyediting.
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "The group's aspirations could only be realised at great expense."
    • You haven't explained what their aspirations were.
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "One of them, Rabbi Gedaliah of Siemiatycze, wrote of how they encountered difficulties with the Ottoman authorities who had to be bribed to enable them to proceed with the construction of new buildings and dwellings."
    • Repetition of "them". Why did they insist on bribes?
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "They wanted to rebuild the synagogue which had been located in the courtyard next to the Ramban Synagogue on a larger scale than the old one, but the Turkish authorities forbade it."
    • I thought that they had bribed them so now they weren't forbidding it? Also, was this their aspirations? If so, it warrants mentioning earlier.
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "In order for them to receive permission, further bribes were made to the pashas. In addition, while construction was taking place, the pasha had to be paid 1,500 lion thalers over three years."
    • Why do you need "in addition" when you had "further bribes" just before this?
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "In order for them to receive permission, further bribes were made to the pashas. In addition, while construction was taking place, the pasha had to be paid 1,500 lion thalers over three years. Then, since the building had been built higher than the old one without permission of the sultan, another pasha wished to halt the building. To satisfy him, another 500 lion thalers was handed over.[9] Finally, a new pasha from Constantinople arrived who also had to be appeased with 500 lion thalers."
    • Why were there so many pashas ruling at once? I thought they were like governors?
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "Pressure and threats from the creditors led to a messenger being sent to Europe to solicit funds for repayment of the loan.[10] However, twenty years later, the debt still had not been repaid.[11]"
    • What happened to the messenger? Did they get any money? Were they not making money off the synagogue?
    • Sources to hand do not give details of this. I doubt any money was generated from the synagogue. Chesdovi (talk) 01:20, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "The courtyard was converted into shops and the synagogue lay desolate and descended into ruin. It thus became known as the "Ruin of Rabbi Judah the Pious"."
    • Repetition of "ruin"
    • Done! Chesdovi (talk) 17:14, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
• This was only the first section; you need someone to look through the entire article. Kind regards, —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 19:18, 8 March 2010 (UTC)
  • "Englishman named Sir Charles Clore took the initiative and agreed to fund the project, providing it could be completed in a specified number of years, (his wish was to see the project completed before his death)."
    • He died in '79. Did this change anything? —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 02:26, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
      • Spotted that! "Time ran out" must mean he died and nothing had happened. His daughter would have funded the adjacent plaza in his memory. Have reworded. Thanks for all your help. Chesdovi (talk) 02:58, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

• Moved to talk page —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 00:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
  • Finished moving concerns to talk page —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 05:33, 11 March 2010 (UTC)