Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Erich Hartmann

Erich Hartmann edit

I would like to bring this article up the quality scale. Please let me know where it requires improvement. MisterBee1966 (talk) 09:18, 15 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cam edit

Overall, a good article with a large amount of content.

given that, however, I feel that the number of citations is inadequate for an article of this size. Of particular note, there is a section of 3 or 4 paragraphs under "Career in the Luftwaffe" that have almost no citations. Done
I feel that the entire article could benefit from a copyedit, as there are some places where the phrasing is quite disjointed, particularly in the "after the war" section. Done
I feel that the article may go into a bit too much detail at times, especially in the sections describing individual kills. It tends to read too much like a historical novel or textbook, and not enough like an encyclopedia.

That said, you've done a great job on this article. Good luck in taking it forward. Cheers! Cam (Chat) 22:51, 15 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Gaia Octavia Agrippa edit

A very interesting article.

Could do with:

More details about personal life, it is a biography after all. Done (partly)
Could do with more subheadings to split up the larger sections. Done
Needs rewriting to make it the correct order of events and to link up thing (eg the Russians dropping the charges of war crimes and him getting charged with them) perhaps in there own sections. Done

Other than that it is a very good biography and i personally believe it is better than B-class. Gaia Octavia Agrippa^T | _C 20:27, 17 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ryan4314 edit

Concerning the lead;

ref [1] needs to be after the full stop.
What's the rule on 1st and 2nd when it's 352nd, anyone?
Maybe have "JG 52" acronym in brackets after first mention of "Jagdgeschwader 52" in lead.
add "false" before "War Crimes", at the moment the lead section makes him sound like an actual nazi war criminal.
What did he do after he retired? and lengthen the sentence about his death. Ryan4314 (talk) 23:35, 1 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]