Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Brian Horrocks
Brian Horrocks edit
This is an article I've been working on for a while (3 years or so, which should give you an idea of my work-rate) and I'm looking for suggestions for improvement. I'm aware of the fact that the North Africa and Europe sections need in-line citations and I also intend to do a fair amount of copy-editing/re-writing/expansion, particularly on those sections, and would appreciate other opinions on where I should direct my efforts. Leithp 12:33, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
- Update: As part of the recent review for GA status, citations have been added to the N Africa and Europe sections and those parts have been slightly expanded. I'd appreciate comments on further improvements that could be made (I'm still aware of the combining refs issue that Kirill mentioned, and will eventually get round to finishing that) or opinions on whether the article is ready to be taken on to A-class review yet. Leithp 07:17, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
Kirill Lokshin edit
A few other areas that might need looking at:
- The lead seems too short for an article of this size.
Done - Given that you're not repeating footnotes too much, I would suggest avoiding named ones at all, and instead combining the notes for each sentence into a single one. Certain areas of the article seem a bit too densely footnoted; the material isn't really controversial enough to warrant citing individual clauses, In my opinion.
Overall, though, this is a very good article. Kirill 13:49, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
- I've combined the references on a couple of the worst offenders. I'm not sure the rest of the multiple-footnotes affect the readability. Let me know what you think, please. Leithp 06:34, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
Ryan4314 edit
In the lead;
- Which Olympics? Done
- I know who Montgomery is, but you might wanna mention he was the North Africa allies commander. Done