Wikipedia:WikiProject Highways/Peer review/Interstate 470 (Kansas)/Archive 1

I reviewed this article at GAN. In an effort to improve Pzoxicuvybtnrm (talk · contribs)'s writing, I did an in-depth review. I moved that part here in order to get more comments from others who will be watching. –Fredddie 02:20, 23 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Review from Fredddie

edit
Lead
Route description
  • "..which is at that point concurrent with State Highway 4 and US 40.[2]" It's not clear if those two routes are concurrent with I-70 or I-470.
  • You use concurrent in two consecutive sentences; use synonyms.
  • Do the suburbs have names?
  • If two routes are concurrent, they can't possibly meet again. Think of it this way, if you're already sitting next to your friend, you can't meet them – they're already there!
  • "I-470, however, continues southeastward until it reaches I-335, which finds its terminus at I-470 at this interchange." This sentences has a couple of issues itself.
    • "...however, ..." isn't necessary.
    • "...which finds its terminus at I-470 at this interchange..." is way wordy. "...which ends at the I-470 interchange..." is clear and concise.
  • "I-335 is also known as the Kansas Turnpike at this point and I-470, turning abruptly northeast at this point, comprises the next portion of the Kansas Turnpike.[4][5]"
    • "South of this interchange, I-335 is part of the Kansas Turnpike. I-470 merges onto the turnpike and the two routes head northeast towards I-70."
  • No part of the Kansas Turnpike, or any toll road, should be called a freeway. Use tollway instead.
  • In the last sentence of the RD, "its" is ambiguous again.

  To allay Admrboltz's fears below, I am going to rewrite this section. I will do my best to use as much of your work as I can. –Fredddie 04:04, 19 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot. I added another paragraph. --PCB 15:41, 19 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
History
  • The section is out of order. I do like how you talk about the interstates in Topeka as a whole, so let's keep that structure.
    • The sentence about the Kansas Turnpike should be first, since it was there first.
    • Then talk about the Interstate Highway System's creation and the freeways planned.
      • Is there a yellow book map of Topeka? Check Commons.
    • Construction of said freeways
      • How many years?
      • How much did it cost?
  • The last paragraph is sloppy. If the first paragraph shapes up with my suggestions, the second could be cleaned up and merged in.
  • I mentioned it above, but part of the interstate was named after MLK. This would be a good place to put it.
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