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Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Annika Sörenstam

< Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography‎ | Peer review

Annika Sörenstam edit

We're ultimately looking for FA status here. The article recently got promoted to GA status, and a further promotion would be ideal. However, the article needs an improvement, so it would be great to know of anything that needs improving to meet FA criteria. - • The Giant Puffin • 09:13, 1 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

JoeSmack edit

Oh my, please, stop dropping so many 'In 2006's and 'In 2003's - that sort of thing. It hurts my eyes! ;) Also, read User:Tony1/How_to_satisfy_Criterion_1a thoroughly and incorporate its suggestions. Tap me on my talk page if you need me to respond further, but keep article comments here for everyone's sake. JoeSmack Talk 20:24, 1 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Copy editing has started. How are we doing against the other criteria? Mudforce 17:34, 3 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Automated review edit

Yannismarou edit

  • "whose achievements rank her as one of the most successful female golfers in golf history." Although you overcite the lead, you leave this assertion which needs desperate backing from sources uncited. About the overciting issue, have in mind that you don't have to cite in the lead things you source later in the text.
  • "She has won eight Rolex Player of the Year awards (a record),[3] is a six times Vare Trophy winner (the award given to the LPGA player with the lowest seasonal scoring average)[4] and is the only female golfer to shoot a 59 in competition.[5]" Cite in the middle of the sentences only if it absolutely necessary for emphasis reasons. Otherwise, gather the citationd at the end of the sentences so as not to make the article difficult to follow for the reader.
  • "She was also a good skier. The coach of the Swedish national ski team suggested the family move to Northern Sweden so she could improve her skiing year round.[12] She also played football in her hometown team Bro IK.[13]" In some parts like here the prose looks a bit choppy to me.
  • "(Annika got the odd numbered clubs and Charlotta the even) and got". I don't like got ... got ...
  • "Amid notable controversy". I think it is important to expand a bit on the controversy. Just a link to the main article is not enough IMO.
  • "She continued her dominanance in 2004 earning her seventh LPGA Player of the Year award tying Kathy Whitworth for the most in LPGA history. She posted 16 top-10 finishes in 18 LPGA starts, including eight wins, becoming the first player to reach $15 million in LPGA career earnings. She took her own LPGA single-season scoring average record to 68.69696[6] but played too few rounds to win the Vare Trophy. She had ... " A bit monotonous the prose, don't you think? The next paragraph is not better.
    • Copy edit changes made to make the prose a bit more "compelling" Mudforce 21:15, 9 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Other awards and honours" is listy. Desperately needs better prose, and better paragraphs. Similar problems in "Off-course activities".
    • Will attempt to merge Other awards and honours contents into other sections Mudforce 15:05, 9 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A good article, but IMO not yet ready for FA status; not even sure about A-Class status.--Yannismarou 19:17, 8 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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