Wikipedia:WikiProject Television/Awake task force/A-Class review/Awake (TV series)/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of an A-Class nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in the main page's talk page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not approved by TRLIJC19 23:00, 30 September 2012 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Awake (TV series) edit

Nominator(s): TBr and ley 00:16, 18 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for A-Class because I believe it meets all criteria. Cheers, TBr and ley 00:16, 18 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved source review from TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 02:13, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks done at FAC.

FN6: Radnor is a town, not the publisher of TV Guide.
- See below. TBr and ley 01:45, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - This one's fine. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 01:54, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - See below. TBr and ley 02:08, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
There's an inconsistency with linking the cities where the publishers exist. Honestly, I don't think the cities should be there at all.
- Actually, no. See the template, and it is listed under |location for all of them. That's how that template works. TBr and ley 01:45, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Well, if you are going to use that unused, unnecessary parameter, use it right (without linking inconsistencies). TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 01:54, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - Removed the parameter completely. Regards, TBr and ley 02:08, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 01:37, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"Despite the series' relatively short life span, it has had large fan support campaigns who teamed up to create the "Save Awake" campaign to convince networks to revive the show." -> You've two uses of "campaign" quite close together here. Perhaps "a large fanbase" or "a large degree of fan support" would eliminate the first one.
"He contrasted it to the Fox television series Fringe" -> compared to, or contrasted with
"he's a cop who sees clues and details that crossover from one world to the next" -> "crossover" as one word is a noun, not a verb, if it's like this in the source then mark it with {{sic}} as it's a mistake.
"However, later, Laura Allen garnered the role of Hannah" -> not entirely sure "garner" works here; and having both "however" and "later" stops the flow dead. Try "However, Laura Allen was cast instead".
"The actor was later cast as Ed Hawkins, a cop who took over Michael's" -> tone. "Cop" is too informal, try "police officer" or the like instead.
Think you could narrow that quotebox down (the "Two Birds" one), it could be a bit narrower without being any taller to save space.
Give a little context for Dallas and Newhart (decade, etc).
I'm not sure I'm comfortable describing a character's personality and citing it to an episode; maybe reviews have picked up on these traits as well so there's no interpretation going on?
Split rating and share into two columns in the rating table; and set the table to sortable

Seems alright aside from these points. GRAPPLE X 16:07, 19 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for your comments! I fixed all of the comments, expect the reference one, I don't see any problem with referencing episode IMO. TBr and ley 03:12, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - It's not about referencing episodes per se, it's that you're inferring character traits from first-hand observation; watching a character's actions and then describing their characteristics. If you use an episode to cite "JR Ewing was shot by Kristin Shepard" (an observable fact) then that's perfectly fine, if you cite an episode to support "Dale Cooper is a political centrist with libertarian leanings" then you're inferring a characterisation based on what is implied rather than shown. For things like "He is also disorganized, and sometimes has odd behavior" I'd like to see a secondary source used rather than inferring these things through first-hand observation. GRAPPLE X 03:20, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - Actually, in the episode, it did state that he was like that, but I'll look for a source. "Instead of delving into mythology, though, Lee asks his students about diagnosing schizophrenia; when one of the students answers, we cut to a montage of Michael trying to go about his daily routine, using ritual to hold his mind together, and not doing such a great job of it." that's what it states at A.V. Club, which is in episode, but it doesn't actually cover what is said, but as said above, it is actually said that he is disorganized. "The stress of Britten's predicament is starting to wear on him. Though each incident seems relatively minor" is also pretty close I suppose, which is at NBC.com. Not sure. Regards, TBr and ley 03:30, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      - If it's explicitly mentioned in dialogue, I believe {{cite episode}} has a |quote= parameter that could be used so as to demonstrate this isn't OR; if possible I'd also include the time in the episode that it's mentioned. The former AVC quote there would also work, not sure about the latter. GRAPPLE X 03:33, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.