Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 August 12

I have reedited this and added more reference.Hopefully you clear it this time.Waiting for the feedback. After the feedback,will this post be moved to the admin page? Thanks

~~Ankur Goyal 04:09, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

It is already a live article; I do not know what you mean by 'admin' page.
I removed the 'unreviewed' tag, but I also removed this part, because it was not neutral and was unreferenced; Vision of the institution is to endeavoring to become one of the top providers of engineering and management education in the country and making available the appropriately qualified and skilled manpower to the world of work
You need to add inline references.  Chzz  ►  05:07, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm requesting feedback as I'm presently working (on a short term engagement) for this organisation, and I want to avoid any concerns about COI. Thanks!


~~Al84 (talk) 05:54, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Is this new article suitable for posting now ? Thankyou


~~Nicholasatkins (talk) 06:17, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You seem to have the references formatted incorrectly.
The reference should go within the actual main text, with the details (the link, or publication info) in-between a <ref> and a </ref>, like this;
Chzz is 98 years old.<ref> "The book of Chzz", Aardvark Books, 2009. </ref>
And then, near the end, you have a section called == References== with the special code {{reflist}};
== References ==
{{reflist}}
Please look at the example, user:chzz/demo/simpleref. For more help with it, see WP:CITE.

 Chzz  ►  17:10, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

My first full article is about a living person. Would appreciate constructive feedback. Thanks! Stanning (talk · contribs) 08:20, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Like the above request, you also need to use inline references - this is important for all articles, but especially so for a biography of a living person. You need to show where each 'fact' can be checked.
anything challenged or likely to be challenged, including all quotations, be attributed to a reliable source in the form of an inline citation - WP:V, a core policy.
So, see the above section, about how to add inline references; I will add a bit more help on your talk page too.  Chzz  ►  17:14, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any way of ensuring that those searching for 'CDFA' have the option of going to the UK organisation of that name (the Community Development Finance Association) as opposed to being taken straight through to the California Department of Food and Agriculture? I have attempted to create a disambiguation page.

~~Joedumont (talk) 10:01, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is possible, but it might not be advisable in this case.
If the disambig page was called just "CDFA" without the '(disambiguation)', that would do what you wanted...instead of, as presently, the page CFDA being a redirect - see this special link.
However, I would think it difficult to challenge that specific case, because I suspect that the American organization is the primary topic; see Wikipedia:Disambig#Is there a primary topic?.
As a very rough-and-ready check, a basic Google Search gives about 4 times as many hits for the US organization.
Therefore...if you think it worth discussing, you should start a new section on Talk:California Department of Food and Agriculture, explain that you'd like the redirect to change (and why), and work towards a consensus before changing it. But personally (and as an Englishman too!) I think you might lose that particular debate; sorry.
There is a hatnote at the top of California Department of Food and Agriculture though;
This article is about the California Department of Food and Agriculture. For the Community Development Finance Association, see Community Development Finance Association.

 Chzz  ►  17:26, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

According to the advice, I have removed all the external links from the text, as well as expanded the list of references (inline citations). As the person is an Estonian politician and writer, there are loads of reliable sources about him in Estonian. Would it be acceptable to add also the references in Estonian? Thank you in advance for the comments.


~~95.129.199.49 (talk) 12:49, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is acceptable, with caution; if the material is written by the subject, then it can be used for neutral, factual information but not any kind of interpretation; for example, it would be fine to say "He wrote ABOUT XXX in Estonian" but not to e.g. reference his "3rd class Order of the National Coat of Arms" - the latter would require an independent reliable source.
Please read WP:PRIMARY for more guidance on it.  Chzz  ►  17:35, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is my first article and I would appreciate some help to see if I got it right. How do I upload the article afterwards?

~~Magle ab (talk) 13:56, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

At the moment, it is based on information from the product and manufacturers website; it does not have enough independent coverage to pass the notability requirements, specifically WP:CORP.
The only independent references are about Honey, not about this specific substrate.
Therefore, it would be in danger of deletion as promotional. Please also read about conflict of interest, and see the business FAQ.  Chzz  ►  17:52, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New article needs to be edited.


~~64.33.143.115 (talk) 15:13, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It needs more references, so that it is verifiable - and this is especially important for biographies of living people. For example,

Jenny Hansen is an American gymnast from Somerset, Wisconsin.[citation needed] She is often regarded[according to whom?] as the most prolific gymnast[verification needed] in NCAA history.

The NCAA references are fine - great - but it would be much better if you could add others, to newspaper articles, books, or something. The Google News archives - this link - are a good place to look.
Also - you posted this request without being logged in...but I guess you are Dgbail09 (talk · contribs)? Please remember to log in when you edit pages, so we know who you are! Thanks,  Chzz  ►  18:49, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

 Chzz  ►  18:46, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please review page would appreciate feedback. Thanks.

~~Lauraallessi (talk) 16:45, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It really needs additional references. Note that the requirement for notability is "significant coverage in independent reliable sources", plural; and with good reason - see WP:ONESOURCE.
It is even more important for a biography of a living person.
Please see WP:CITE for help on how to add inline references; I'll add help on your own talk page too.

 Chzz  ►  19:36, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I think my page is ready to go live. But I want it to be reviewed to make sure I did everything properly to get the page published. I think that Jeffrey Kessler is a huge figure in sports, and deserves his own page on wikipedia. Please let me know what I need to do to take my page live. Thanks.

~~Austinlyman (talk) 17:04, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please add inline citations (I will add more about that on your own talk page).
Section headings should be == Like this == not '''in bold'''.
You should also add some Wikilinks, e.g.
He grew up in a community in [[Brooklyn]] near [[Coney Island]]
...which will appear as...

He grew up in a community in Brooklyn near Coney Island

The WP:CHEATSHEET might help.  Chzz  ►  19:41, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is my first Wiki page, so I was looking for feedback and to ensure the Wiki community approves.

~~Dansavoie2010 (talk) 19:27, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The "candyglam.com" reference is not good enough for the information about an alleged murder; it is essential to provide a good, reliable source for any such claim.
Some parts are not neutral and lack an appropriate reference, e.g. the website became more popular than the radio program and quickly developed.
I'm not happy with the section on "RockStars Magazine", because it is based only upon reference to a FaceBook announcement and the magazines website. Thus, it looks like an advert for the new magazine, which in itself is probably not yet notable - without independent reliable sources talking about it. See WP:CRYSTAL.
Facts that have only been announced on a FaceBook page should not appear on Wikipedia.
Also, if you have a conflict of interest, please read the business FAQ.

 Chzz  ►  19:51, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]


I just wanted my article to be reviewed. I'm not sure if its adequate, and i cant upload the logo because I'm not an admin.

My bad, sorry, i fixed it. I deleted the whole copied part and summarized it instead ~~Andy (talk) 19:48, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You cannot copy/paste large chunks from another place; it has been tagged as a copyright violation.
If you actually wrote it yourself, see Wikipedia:Donating copyrighted materials.
Otherwise...you need to write in your own words - though the facts needs supporting reliable sources.  Chzz  ►  20:06, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would really appreciate any feedback/reviews/changes to this article about AM Conservation Group, Inc. This is my first Wikipedia article, so I probably have a lot to learn! Thank you in advance for any assistance provided!!!

~~Colleenmurrin (talk) 19:50, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

THE SECTION NAMES SHOULDN'T BE IN ALL CAPITALS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING :-)
And you need to use 'references', not just list external links; you need inline citations, so we can see which facts come from which source. I will add help about that on your own user talk page.
I'm not sure if it passes the notability requirements for now, because the sourcing is unclear; but check WP:CORP.  Chzz  ►  20:20, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Long Branch Variety Show

edit

I hope this goes in the correct place. I've never replied to feedback. If this starts a new request, I apologize and I hope you can provide a link on how to reply. If this did work, WOO HOO.

I have made several changes to the page reflecting Chzz's comments

~~Dansavoie2010 (talk) 22:01, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi i would like some feedback on my first wikipedia article! im a senior Music Therapy Student at Berklee College of Muusic and i would really like more information about our field available to the general public. i have included many refferences of different books and some other websites that where written by valuable sources. what can i add or change?


~~Pasitachida (talk) 22:26, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's alright, but you need to try and add more web references to the article, in addition to the book/magazine references that you already have. Chevymontecarlo 05:28, 13 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A photo of Todd's work to come soon!


~~LindsayCervarich (talk) 23:29, 12 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nicely written article, but you need more reliable references to the article, as one reference is not really enough. Chevymontecarlo 05:26, 13 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't understand if my article is being edited or published.


~~Vamjoy (talk) 03:41, 13 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, but I cannot find the page you are asking about; you don't have any user subpages, and according to your contribution history, you have not written an article - at least, not if you were logged in. I can't find it by searching either. Sorry; maybe you did not actually save it? To try again, make a user-space draft.  Chzz  ►  21:45, 13 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]