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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Turtles All the Way Down/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 12:09, 16 June 2012 [1].

Turtles All the Way Down edit

Turtles All the Way Down (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): TBrandley • talk • contributions 14:38, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it has meet with FA criteria. TBrandley • talk • contributions 14:38, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. FAC is not the place for articles with lots of broken English:

  • "The story and concept of the episode was written"
    • Done
  • "sits in a jail cell temporary"
    • Done
  • "while in the green reality ... while his partner ...", with no independent clause
    • Done
  • "It was and directed by"
    • Done
  • I see a long list of complaints on your talk page that you haven't followed instructions. Please don't take articles to FAC without proper preparation; it sucks up reviewer time for no real gain. - Dank (push to talk) 18:05, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose choppy writing throughout, I don't understand how this passed GA with this prose, and I suck in prose. Here's some examples.

  • In his "green reality" (where his son is alive and his wife is dead)... Can it be explained further through some wikilink as it's still unclear what is a green reality ?
  • "Detective Michael Britten (Jason Isaacs) sits in a prison cell temporary for killing Detective Ed Hawkins (Kevin Weisman), who caused Britten's car accident in the first episode, while his partner, Detective "Bird" Freeman (Steve Harris) finds heroin that Hawkins, under orders from Captain Kessel (Mark Harelik), had placed in a self storage unit." Massive run-on sentence, does Britten car accident deserves to be mentioned in the plot, and why did Hawkins placed the heroin in the storage unit?
  • Britten regains conciousness (after having passed out before due to a gunshot wound from when Ed Hawkins was chasing after him in the previous episode) near a dumpster in the "red reality" (where his wife is alive and son is dead). Again prose issues, note the typo as well.
  • Britten finds his therapist, Dr. John Lee (BD Wong), forces him to sew up the bullet wound, and takes him to the self storage unit to show him the heroin stash.. Some redundancy here.

From Reception

  • is "enjoyed the episode" encyclopedic prose?
  • He claimed that "the chicken heart really begins to grow". What's the point of this statement, seems like random commentary.
  • Zack Handlen review is loaded with random quotes which seems extremely bloated? Possible fair use violation over excess of quotes, trim.
  • "Nick McHatton of TV Fanatic, again, enjoyed the episode". "Screen Rant's Kevin Yeoman, again, enjoyed the episode" hmm.....

This article needs some rewriting and a extremely strong copyedit before going back to FAC. Sorry Secret account 23:50, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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