Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Toledo War/Archive1

Toledo War

Partial self-nomination. This article has undergone an extensive amount of work, by myself and many other members of the Wikipedia:Wikiproject Michigan. It has undergone a positive peer review, and has already achieved Good Article status. Project members will address any comments or concerns. Thanks. Hotstreets 02:36, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

• Minor object on a few points:
  • The contents of the "See also" section are already linked in the article, and should be trimmed.
    • Trimmed these to items not linked within the article.
      • I'm not sure how useful a link to Military history of the United States is from here, since that article is extremely general. The categories seem much more useful in a case like this. Kirill Lokshin 03:16, 31 May 2006 (UTC)
        • The Military History article has blurbed the Toledo Was as part of its content and we thought it helpful to link to where there's some additional background to the the time frame where the militias were forming post War of 1812 and pre-Civil War.
  • The use of "Ibid." in the footnotes is fine, but are there any style guides that still permit "op. cit."?
    • I'm working off the 1998 MLA Handbook. AFAIK, opus citarse still remains a valid citation form.
      • Ok. The 15th ed. CMoS urges avoiding it, so I wasn't sure if anyone else still used it. Kirill Lokshin 03:16, 31 May 2006 (UTC)
  • All of the sources used for the article should be listed in the "References" section, if one exists separately from the footnotes.
    • I added the Way book into the Reference sections since it was originally a hard copy book. For the small number of other web-exclusive sources, these are linked in the footnotes as well as in external sources.

Overall, though, the article looks very good! Kirill Lokshin 02:56, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the Feedback Jtmichcock 03:09, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

• Object. Poorly written. The lead provides many examples.
  • "The matter went unresolved until Michigan began to press for statehood in the early 1830s." "was" preferred to "went". Do you mean that when Michigan began to press for statehood, the matter was suddenly resolved? Surely not.
  • "The dispute originated from conflicting state and federal legislation passed between 1787 and 1805 that left the exact location of Ohio's northern boundary uncertain." Fuzzy. Surely the dispute originated from the conflict: the grammar gives the wrong emphasis. Try "The dispute originated from the conflict between state and ...". Can you remove "the exact location of"? Same for "Overall".
  • "The situation on the ground remained a standoff for over a year." Do you mean "The result was a standoff for more than a year." What does "on the ground" mean here?

The rest of the article has lots of fuzziness and awkwardness. Please get someone else to cop-edit it thoroughly. Tony 04:43, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

I have gone through the article to address your specific concerns and to parse back the writing. The introduction and balance of the article reads much better now. Please let us know what you think. Jtmichcock 12:13, 31 May 2006 (UTC)