Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Refugee controversy in Sjöbo/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Laser brain 04:50, 14 March 2011 [1].

Refugee controversy in Sjöbo

Featured article candidates/Refugee controversy in Sjöbo/archive1

Nominator(s): Alphasinus (talk) 21:48, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'm nominating this for featured status because i think it passes the criteria. I've done some changes that made it qualify for GA status but the main contributer to the article is User:Theleftorium. Alphasinus (talk) 21:48, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - Leaning oppose. Article doesn't seem well-developed to me. More background on the ethos of Swedish refugee policy would help build the story. Sources are thin, prose needs polishing. Here's some examples/recommendations: Sasata (talk) 00:44, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

no mention of the 1989 "Aliens Act"?
no mention of the 1989 film about the incident, Sa Gar Ett Ar; Teden I Sjobo?
Sources not used:

Rysted, G. (1992). "Encounter with strangers: refugees and cultural confrontation in Sweden"
Pred DS. (1992). "Even in Sweden: racisms, racialized spaces, and the popular geographical imagination"
Graham M. (2002). "Emotional Bureaucracies: Emotions, Civil Servants, and Immigrants in the Swedish Welfare State" Ethos 30(3):199-226. JSTOR 3651871

"...when the Moderate Party took over the power in the Sjöbo Municipal assembly." underlined part sounds odd
various minor typographical errors: missing a space between sentence; cite before punctuation; is the quote in the "Debate and media attention" section supposed to be ended by a fullstop or an ellipsis?
one sentence paragraphs need to be expanded or integrated elsewhere
"The county had accepted a large amount of refugees" amount -> number
percentages are given with both the symbol and by writing out "percentage"
translations of the Swedish reference titles would be nice
why is the "detailed article" ("The day that Sjöbo split") externally linked not used as a source?

Sources

Earwig's tool found no copyvio, manual spotchecks not done due to lack of source availability and my lack of Swedish skills
Make sure all non-English sources are identified as such
I echo Sasata's question about why the external-links article was not used as a source
It would be helpful to provide times for when information being cited to radio or video sources occurs - similar to page numbers for book sources, this allows the reader to more easily verify the information
YouTube video should have an access date

Images

"Then-Prime Minister Ingvar Carlsson was critical of the result" - the result of what? I realize this is explained in the article text, but would be good to state here
"A part of Sjöbo's town square, where both pro- and con- demonstrations were held" - source? Not mentioned in article text
File:Sjöbo_Municipality_in_Scania_County.png - what evidence do you have that the outlines are PD? The source you linked has a copyright notice at the bottom. Also, would be good to provide a more specific source link. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:08, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments –

Why is a bare year linked in the first sentence? Of all the things to link in the beginning, where reader attention is greatest, this is about the least useful thing I can think of.
I see "Municipal commissioner" and "Municipal Commissioner" in the lead. Which is it?
Background and motion: Space needed after first sentence.
Debate and media attention: Third paragraph of the section has a double period at the end.
Aftermath: I don't understand why the end says "As of today" when the source is from 2006. That's not today. How about saying "the Sjobo Party remains active" or similar? Giants2008 (27 and counting) 02:34, 7 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.