Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Phi Delta Theta/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 03:19, 20 December 2007.

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Phi Delta Theta

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I'm nominating this article for featured article because...this article is very clear and well written. It covers many topics extremely well and sources all facts. There are great uses of pictures, quotes, and is stylized to make it easy to find information. I think this article was ready for FA status when it was passed as a GA. Acidskater (talk) 21:09, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Weak Oppose - most pictures in copyright don't have fair use guidelines. Miranda 22:48, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Which ones exactly? I looked through all the pictures and found Fair Use Rational for all the copyrighted pictures. Acidskater (talk) 23:38, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Image:Robert_Wise_Initiation_-_PDT.jpg and Image:Neil_Armstrong_-_PDT.jpg Would also like to see pages of founders (following the guideline of Alpha Phi Alpha, a Greek FA. Miranda 00:21, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Several unsourced statements in this section. Also there is not a space between the citation and the number (i.e. the citation comes after the period - see Alpha Kappa Alpha for details). Years aren't wikilinked, per MOS in this section. Before you have nominated this article for an FA, you should have undergone a peer review. Miranda 00:25, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Badge doesn't have a fair use rationale. Why isn't there a template at the bottom of the page about the conference that the organization belongs to? Why is the Infobox fraternity template not on the page, and a custom made one is? Why does cit. #28 not have an access date? Miranda 00:31, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Comment Had no idea this was nominated. I have way too much on my watchlist to see. But anyway I'll try and handle the pictures since I'm the one who uploaded them. As for other concerns, Phi Delta Theta does not belong to any organizations. They left the NIC which is why there isn't a template. I never thought about creating pages to the founders of fear and reluctance that they may not pass WP:N and that priority should be placed on the organization itself. The infobox template is the original template that was used when fraternity and sorority pages were first created on Wikipedia. The majority of fraternity and sorority articles use a different one but others such as Pi Kappa Alpha, Beta Theta Pi, Kappa Sigma and Kappa Alpha Order still have custom infoboxes, because though there was a discussion there was also no official consensus on this issue. People are always free to change the infobox including the one for Phi Delta Theta.----Ðysepsion † ^{Speak your mind} 01:22, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Oppose—Too many things are wrong with the lead to even think of promoting this one yet. Do you know where/how to locate good copy-editors to run through the whole article?

• Spot the redundant word at the opening: "Its headquarters is located on the Miami University campus."
• (Personal preference): "about", not the hedgehog "approximately".
• A pair of commas would help our readers: "Phi Delta Theta along with Beta Theta Pi and Sigma Chi form the Miami Triad."
• "in over 40 United States"—OMG, one is enough. Can you imagine 40 of them derailing the post-Kyoto negotiations? Make it "more than 40 US states and six Canadian provinces, and ..."? Note comma where there are two "ands" hanging around.
• I find the chartered house sentence uncomfortably jammed into that sequence of ideas.
• "... Drake, collectively ...". Again, a comma is easier on our readers. Can you get someone to audit the whole text for commas? We don't want too many, but there are obvious places for them.
• "Among the most well known members of the fraternity include ..."—Nope, you've got two subset words there ("among" and "include"). My US dictionary says to hyphenate "well-known". Tony (talk) 01:11, 15 December 2007 (UTC)

• Oppose. The prose needs to be cleaned up, there are too many images, several areas lack citations, and many of the citations are to the fraternity's website.
  • You need to use nonbreaking spaces (& nbsp; or {{nowrap}}) between numbers and their units or qualifiers (example: {{nowrap|40 U.S. States}}
  • I don't think it is necessary to include images of all 6 of the founders in this article. if you decide to keep them, they shouldbe moved down to be under the paragraph talking about them.
  • Founders should not be capitalized if it is not the first word in the sentence
  • The prose could use a great deal of tightening. Examples:
    • "A year later, after the president expelled most of the students involved in the uprising, Phi Delta Theta was formed. Six men staying in a dormitory the day after Christmas formed the Greek-letter society" could become "The president expelled most of the students involved in the uprising. While staying in a dormitory the day after Christmas, senior Robert Morrison proposed to...."
    • "A housing movement began to form during this time. The movement arose out of necessity because it was pointed out that chapter meetings were being conducted in rented halls. Even though the housing movement had been gaining momentum, it was not until the 1892 convention that a resolution was passed that advocated that all chapters rent or own at least one house" could become "After realizing that chapter meetings were being conducted in rented halls, a housing movement commenced. It was not until 1892, however, that a resolution passed advocating that all chapters rent or own at least one house."
  • Captions should not end with periods unless they are full sentences.
  • "college administrators urged its undergraduate members to stay in school." Which college administrators are we refering to here? the pronoun should be "their" instead of "its"
  • Much of the article is written in passive voice. Changing some of this to active voice would help to tighten the prose and would read better.
  • Need citations for last 2 paragraphs that talk about WWII
  • Need citations for "Fearing punishment from the university,...."
  • Change "The War Between the States" to the American Civil War; the former is used primarily by confederate states, and Ohio was not one of those
  • Need citation for fact that Miller has served the longest term as executive vice president
  • The section Famous firsts needs to be turned into prose rather than a list
  • I don't think the Current Issues section needs subsections; These are all very short.
  • By the numbers section needs to be turned into prose rather than a list
  • The sports awards section should be eliminated, and the men should instead be mentioned in the notable alumni section
  • References section should come after Footnotes section
  • Can you find independent sources for the references Phi Delta Theta website and the past manuals published by the fraternity?

Karanacs (talk) 17:23, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.