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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ladysmith Black Mambazo/archive1

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Ladysmith Black Mambazo

edit

Self-nomination The article is indeed coming along well, and I have tried to remove POV comments, unverified claims etc. to improve the article to some extent. I believe it meets the criteria needed for a featured article; please discuss whenever possible. LBM 22:52, 10 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Much better on the resolution. Incidentally, could you remove the unfree image from your userpage? Thanks. Jkelly 21:52, 11 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Done. LBM 21:56, 11 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments
    • The paragraph under "History" should be an overview of everything underneath it (i.e. a brief summary of their entire existence), and what's there now should be merged into the first subsection.
    • Agree that more citations are needed.
    • The group won nearly every competition that was held; eventually in 1973, they were allowed to perform, but forbidden to compete with the other choirs. - is the implication that they were banned because they won "neary every competition", and were then re-allowed in 1973? If so, say so. If not, it's not clear.
    • Watch referring to LBM as "the group". Anytime it's potentially ambiguous, use the full name. The first time in each paragraph, use the full name.
    • Does need some copyediting cleanup. I've made a start, but there's a lot to be done.
    • I've added some citeneeded templates.
    • December 10, Joseph's brother and one of the bass members in the group, Headman Shabalala, was shot and killed by Sean Nicholas, a white off-duty security guard. - no year is given for this
    • His death was considered a racial killing and Joseph stopped singing. - considered by whom?
    • Don't refer to him as Joseph. Use Shabalala.
    • His death was considered a racial killing and Joseph stopped singing. - make the connection between these two events explicity
    • But eventually, helped by his beliefs, he returned to singing and recruited four of his six sons into the group in 1993, following the retirement of another three members. - which beliefs? what is the connection between his return to singing and recruiting his sons
    • The abolition of Apartheid in South Africa and the election of the first black president, Nelson Mandela, brought about the group's first release since 1991 - explain and cite how these events brough about the release
    • That first paragraph under "1994-2003" is entirely uncited. I'd also like to see some sort of (cited) claim of the relationship between Mandela and LBM. Presumably they were allies for some reason, so explain why and cite it, if possible.
    • this was followed up by a Best of... release - give the actual name of the release
    • Songs in quotes and albums in italics
    • Ladysmith Black Mambazo recorded with artists from both the US and South Africa: - cleanup the list that follows this, as it's too long and not accurate (it includes a Congolese-Belgian group and a Canadian singer)
  • Tuf-Kat 07:47, 12 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Comment - I have added quite a few more citations and reworded some content, I'll try to do some extra touch-ups shortly. --LBM | TALK TO ME 18:53, 12 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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