Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Henry Macandrew/archive1

Henry Macandrew

Featured article candidates/Henry Macandrew/archive1

Nominator(s): Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:34, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

One of the most successful cavalry commanders of the First World War, Sir Henry Macandrew would probably be more widely known if he hadn't accidentally killed himself in a pyjama-related explosion a year after the war ended. A British Indian Army officer, he fought in the Tirah campaign and Boer War before making his greatest impact commanding a division on the Western Front and in the Middle East. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:34, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Drive-by comments from SC

This breaches a few parts of the MOS without seemingly good reasons for doing so, and it would be best if you ensured it's MOS compliant before the reviews start rolling in. The points that caught my eye on a very quick look include:

A five para lead (MOS:LEADLENGTH says four at most and an article of this size, is suggests, should be two or three): Four would be acceptable, but not five.

Shortened.

WP:CITEBUNDLE is probably advisable for the places with four citations, and probably those with three

I couldn't figure out how to bundle, something I haven't done before, without breaking a lot of ref templates. I've split out the groups of 3 and 4 references instead.

There are two block quotes in the Post war section that shouldn't be block quote – they should be inline as they are less than forty words, but ...

Changed.

... they should adhere to WP:ELLIPSIS in regard to the spacing.

Changed.

I'll try to return with a full review later. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 15:01, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

Suggest adding alt text

Added.

File:Henry_John_Milnes_MacAndrew.png: when and where was this first published and what is the author's date of death?

Author died in 1952.

Ditto File:Major_General_H_J_MacAndrew_mounted.jpg
File:Palestine-WW1-3.jpg: source link is dead

I have added the archive link.

File:AWMH10659Damascus.jpg: when and where was this first published? Nikkimaria (talk) 15:46, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know what to do about the above concerns re publication. I'm rather terrible at copyright. Is there an alternative tag I should be using for these images? Your direction would be welcome. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 15:57, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'd recommend figuring out what the earliest publication you can identify is, and then using this chart to see where that lands in terms of copyright status. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:18, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I have changed the tag for File:Henry_John_Milnes_MacAndrew.png. The other two don't have any appropriate tags in that list due to author being unknown and author not dying before 1954 respectively. Unless PDM 1.0 is acceptable (as I believe CC BY-NC 3.0 AU isn't?) I'll remove them. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:43, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I have removed the two aforementioned images and added File:IWMQ12387Damascus.jpeg instead. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 08:23, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose review by Generalissima

Shortened lede looks good.
Macandrew was awarded the India Medal with two clasps and mentioned in despatches This reads as if the medal was mentioned in despatches, which I don't think is the intention; I think was mentioned in despatches and awarded the India Medal with two clasps. would be more clear

Done.

Macandrew continued in India I know this is technically correct, but it made me think a word was missing. "Continued serving" might be better.

Done.

Serving in Kitchener's Horse, from February he operated in the Orange Free State. This sentence seems like it'd be clearer if the clauses were reversed; Beginning in February, he operated in the Orange Free State with Kitchener's Horse.

Done.

The World War I portion is generally very solid. I'm surprised (but not too surprised) I don't have more to critique here. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 17:04, 14 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, everything looks good now. Happy to Support. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 02:43, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Wehwalt

Placeholder for now, will return hopefully Monday or Tuesday.--Wehwalt (talk) 01:25, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]