User talk:Zhan2319/sandbox
Wow, this is a nice-looking page. I like the illustrations and the section organization.
Remember that the article we are writing is about Heritage Languages in Toronto, so as much as possible, statistics related to this city, rather than the whole country, should be provided. That information would fit in your Demography section.
Many of your facts are not verified. They all need an inline citation which links to a full reference at the end of the article. Please note that some of your references at the end are incomplete.
Note also that Wikipedia already has a page about Japan (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan), so you don't need to repeat the history here. Stay focused on our topic.
Your section "Japanese Language Education" has good information about Institutional Support for Heritage Japanese, but should be more clearly labeled as such.
You'll need to do some careful editing for well-structured sentences and correct spelling. Naomi TBB199 (talk) 22:04, 11 February 2016 (UTC)
Yu Xuan Chen Here:
Really good article, I like how you have abundance of pictures and graphs, which makes your article more readable so it's not just wall of text.
Few suggestions I have for your article:
1) In "Immigrants in Toronto" section, you made a reference to "Figure 1" but that is not clearly labeled which is Figure 1
2) I think the focus point for our articles is to analyze heritage language in the perspective of the ethnolinguisitic vitality model, and I think it's better if you can organized the information you have in the other sections of the article into the three components of the model(i.e. Institutional support etc.)
3）I'm a bit worry about the copyright of those photos you have, it would be better if you can provide some reference to the photos you have to show that it's copyright free.
Mike.yuxuan (talk) 00:32, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
Serena Li:
1) Try to make hyperlinks available so it makes easier access for readers that are unfamiliar with the topic
2) I believe that every time you state a fact, you MUST cite it right after. By the lack of citation footnotes, it means that you guys haven't fully cited everything so it seems as if you guys aren't backing up the facts that you guys have stated.
3) I really like how there's a table in the history section but I think that works better in the demographics section since they are numbers that are relate to population and immigration.
4) Some sentences seem to be longer than they should with too many commas in a sentence. Try to break them up for shorter and more concise sentences.
Serenawsli (talk) 21:34, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
Sharon Gao: 1) Trying to fix grammatical errors, especially the proper use of plural and singular words (I've already fixed some for you)
2) I think your "status" part could be more relevant and detail-oriented. For example, you focused on the distribution and amount of Japanese speakers in Toronto. A more relevant example would be talking about what kind of roles Japanese speakers play in the society, and what their jobs are like.
3) I really like how you divide Japanese speakers into three different groups (first-generation, second-generation, and third-generation) so that I get a better sense of the difference in proficiency and language capability among Japanese speakers in Toronto.
4)I like how you separate different kinds of institutional support and go in depth to each of them. It's really clear and informative!