User talk:Travm808/Systems Biology
This is starting to look great so far. The paragraph already down looks fantastic in clarity and summarizing complex info in a simple way and in your own words. Excited to see the graphics and what you have to write about the Wnt proteins.
One part that was a bit strange wording wise was "the cascade of protein interactions in which by knowing some important parameters one is able to determine the other unknown reaction rates". I just feel it is super indirect and uses too much passive language. I would change it to say something like, "Unknown reaction rates are determined by..." Or "Important parameters determine...". Just more direct instead of "in which by knowing".
Other than that it was clear enough that I followed everything you said on the first read through. Just make sure you add your references or even add more details about the specifics of the models or equations used. Just thoughts.
I will fill out the rest of the review as it becomes pertinent! Igmyres (talk) 05:51, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
I agree, this is looking great so far. I thought everything was very clear, except for the same sentence mentioned above. Also, I think a grammatical correction might be necessary to this sentence: "These parameter values will be the reaction rates of each proteins interaction in the system." I think there should be an apostrophe in "protein's." I really liked how you hyperlinked "mass action kinetics." I would love to see some sources cited soon, and then this is coming along well. 10ebyu10e (talk) 06:47, 14 November 2019 (UTC)
This version is looking fantastic!!! It is very clear and devoid of fluff, really getting across the creation of models in a way that makes sense. Fantastic job on the writing and the two graphics look professionally done. I would consider tying the second graphic into something in the body of the text so it's not just a floating graphic with no application. I saw that the main body text mentions making a model, so maybe the caption can reference that a bit better so I can see how the graphic is what I just read. One little thing is making sure that the sentence near the end that begins with "This model..." switches verb subject halfway through, switching from singular to plural. Besides that it is looking great. Igmyres (talk) 01:56, 6 December 2019 (UTC)