User talk:Rawanabualjass/sandbox

Review of Your Article #1

When reading your article, I felt that it was very informative despite the limited information that was found. You arranged the information in a nice presentative view. Here are few changes/suggestions that I would make. First, for some of the terms (such as Doppler Ultrasound of Extremities), give a brief description of it, if you cannot find a corresponding page. Also, watch out for spelling errors, and other sentences. Some sentences were a bit too technical for some readers. Give a view that is more suited for the "layman"/public readers. Also, with the Diagnose section, is there another way to break up the section for number 5. It looked a little too jam packed. Otherwise, your article was good. Rk160 (talk) 15:57, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback! I added it a corresponding link to more difficult terms. I couldn't break up 5 without disrupting the numbering but ill try again. Rawanabualjass (talk) 19:51, 13 December 2022 (UTC)

Wiki article review

One thing i liked about reading your article was that i felt like you did a good job listing out the information that you found and it all looked formal and sounded very well put together and honestly sophisticated. This is where i would interject a change only because the average reader i feel like wouldn't be able to follow the wording used so maybe where you can use simpler words and if not just link the harder words to redirect them to get a better idea of what's discussed. Another thing i would see adjust is i know there isn't a direct diagnosis but maybe discuss how those 6 things could be used to come to the diagnosis. Lastly, signs and symptoms seemed a bit too generic, maybe explain when some of the symptoms would be seen not as something minor but as HSS Shadihasan11 (talk) 21:48, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Thanks!! I tried to limit the jargon when I could and changed harder words. I added a sentence on how the diagnosis comes together by ruling out findings. I also explained in the signs and symptoms how every symptom is related , hope that made it better. Rawanabualjass (talk) 19:53, 13 December 2022 (UTC)

Review 3

-The information presented is flowing well so far. You have presented a nice amount of information. I also like how you listed out the symptoms and the diagnosis information.

-I think that it would benefit you to elaborate a little more on how physicians diagnosis HSS

-Although you presented a nice amount of information, I would try to break it down a little bit so the common person will understand. Most people who turn to wikipedia are looking for concise and easy to read information where they don't have to continue to google what something means.

-I also think that you can explain how the symptoms relate to HSS. Scproby (talk) 01:57, 15 November 2022 (UTC)

Thank you for this! I tried to break it down when i could but this disease can be kind of complicated but I definitely tried to make it simpler. I also explained how symptoms relate. Rawanabualjass (talk) 19:54, 13 December 2022 (UTC)

Dr. Weiner

• Whenever you do need to use a medical term, reference any specific condition, body part, or treatment, link to the wikipedia article for it the first time you use it! In general, more links are better.
• Even though the cause is unknown, you can talk about what goes wrong and how it causes the symptoms for your pathophysiology section.
• Morbidity is prevalence. Mortality is death rate.
• Could use some editing for grammar and clarity. You may want to work with a friend or the writing center for this.
• There is a little bit of recent research out there. Make sure you summarize what does exist in the research section.
• There are some jargon terms here that aren't needed. Use lay language whenever possible. When you do need jargon make sure to link and/or define it.
• One of your citations is broken.
• Well-cited throughout with a good variety of sources.
• While there are a few extra jargon terms, most of this is clear and easy to understand.

Sweiner02 (talk) 05:27, 17 November 2022 (UTC)

Thank you Professor! I linked a lot more terms and i focused the pathophysiology section on vasculitis. I also fixed the morbidity and mortality confusion. I used more recent research but most published research were case studies, so in the research section I discussed what authors commented about research. I tried to replace jargon terms with either terms and fixed all citation formatting. Rawanabualjass (talk) 19:56, 13 December 2022 (UTC)

≈≈ Amany≈≈ I really enjoyed reading Management, it was well written. The Signs and symptoms i think should have more wording instead of a list or explaining some of them. Better explanation Prognosis The cause needs a better explanation Aliaa01 (talk) 17:27, 23 November 2022 (UTC)

Thank you, i fixed the signs and symptoms and I tried to reword the cause or fix the structure. Rawanabualjass (talk) 19:57, 13 December 2022 (UTC)