Editing my talk page, ey? I love it. Since this is a talk page, I'd rather like to talk about myself. I was just a small child living in a log cabin. Momma would cook the food, daddy would work for money. Things were not always great, but it was nice. It's like one of those familys you'd read about in your inspirational novels about the young child learning his lesson about obeying his fathers wishes. Daddy didn't have wishes for me though. "Things is as things is. Don't go a tryin' to change them." Momma said, but I just couldn't get the thought out of my mind. My daddy hated my dog. Said it was vermin. I told him, "Daddy, Clifford's just a good ol' boy. He ain't never hurt nobody. He ain't never done nobody no wrong." But, like Daddy was, he didn't listen. Whether he was going deaf or not, I'll never know. Momma always said things'd get better, but they didn't seem as such. Ain't never had no toys. Ain't never had no friend, save for Clifford. Betty Lou was the girl next door. I never really liked her, but Momma reckon'd I oughta try an' get to know 'er. Too bad she wasn't all right in the head. She'd always wanted me to dress right, and she wanted to marry me. I was just a young boy, not yet 10 years old. I couldn't be married. I couldn't dress right. But like I said, she wasn't quite right in the head.
Anyhows, me an' Betty was a walkin' down the river when she grabbed me by the hand. I didn't know much about the boyfriends an' the girlfriends, 'cept I didn't want none of it. She kissed me right smack dab on the lips, an' I couldn't take it. I took out my buck knife, and I stuck it right in her windpipe. I held her there as she was gaspin' an' a weezin', and she said to me, "Why'd you go an' do somethin' like that?" It tooke me a minute 'for I said, Betty's just my ways.
I was a little worried 'bout what my parents'd say, so I called Clifford. Well, I skinned and a gutted Betty Lou and I cooked her an' fed her to Clifford. Well, most of her. Clifford got full an' there was still a whole leg left. I couldn't dump it for scare of someone a findin' it. So I grabbed her calf, and dug in. The juices swarmed in my mouth, and I didn't know what to think. "Tastes like chicken," I said. And I cleaned it to the bone.
Well, I suppose that's how I ended up like this. Anyways, I'm off to eat some dinner.