Hey Maura, This is Ben from Biology 151~ I know we are all in our drafting stage so I'm not really worried about the length of your article right now. Some things you may want to consider changing or adding are: - You may want to expand on what it means to be "sexual[ly] dimorphic" for ticks (is it by external/internally organs or only by the imprint on the back of females?) - Explain "ecotonal" and what different biomes do the ticks inhabit
Overall the draft looks good so far! Just keep adding more~ Also, poor white-tailed deer.
Hey Ben! Thanks for the feedback, it will definitely help me to refine my draft. In response to it, I plan to make the following changes: 1. I'll spell out what sexually dimorphic means/what it refers to in the context of this tick. 2. I'll explain the meaning of ecotones/ecotonal areas, and in the process specify the biomes where lone star ticks can be found. Mauramk (talk) 20:25, 6 December 2016 (UTC)
Hi Maura, This is Shireen. Your draft is so good! I only have a few comments:
1. I would add in the first section whether the tick transmits any diseases or not.
2. I actually found the original phrasing of this part easier to understand. Also, this wording lets me know it goes through typical development stages, but yours used the word "distinct" which gave me at least a different connotation:
original phrasing: "The tick follows the normal development stages of egg, larva, nymph and adult. It is known as a 3-host tick, meaning that it feeds from a different host during the larval, nymphal, and adult stages."
3. I agree with Ben to define sexually dimorphic.
4. Since you are adding a section for habitat, then I would remove this sentence from the existing article under Distribution:
"It is most common in wooded areas, particularly in forests with thick underbrush, and large trees."
It really does look great. Nice work. Not sure if it's 1.5 pages like she wanted.
Hey Shireen! Thanks for your input on my draft, it was very helpful. In response, I plan to change/add to my Wikipedia draft in the following ways: 1. Add in the diseases known to be transmitted by the lone star tick in the opening paragraph. 2. Revert to original phrasing with regard to the lone star tick's developmental stages. 3. Spell out what I mean by sexually dimorphic in the context of this tick. 4. Move the following sentence from the Distribution heading to my new Range and Habitat heading (and delete the Distribution heading, since this is the only text under it): "It is most common in wooded areas, particularly in forests with thick underbrush, and large trees." Mauramk (talk) 20:25, 6 December 2016 (UTC)
Draft Feedback
editMaura, you have done a great job researching your topic here, and your writing is very clear. You also did an excellent job referencing your sources in the body of your work, and your reference list looks very good. I really like how clearly you have stated where you will add what information to the article, and what you are thinking of revising from the current article. Also, the information you plan to add to the Introduction looks great.
One idea for another topic that you could incorporate into your article is the different types of host that this ticks is found on. You mentioned that it is found where deer are found (and later that it is found on some rodents and birds). However, I have recently been reading about how abundance of mice is a key factor determining how likely any given tick (of at least some species) is to carry Lyme disease, in part because mice are good at transmitting the bacterium that causes Lyme disease from themselves into ticks. In summary, besides different types of host that this tick is found on, discussing ecosystem variables that relate to this tick species being a high or low disease threat could be interesting.
Your discussion of questing is also interesting - do you mean then that this tick will not jump onto hosts, but instead uses primarily this method to get onto hosts?
Overall, I think that this article addition looks very good. The biggest suggestion I would give you is to think about how you can add even more depth to this article addition. For example, is there anything else interesting about the behavior of this tick that you read? Do only the females bite? Is this why they are larger than males? Or, is there anything else unique about this species that is discussed in journal articles? Or, what could be the evolutionary benefit of questing behavior? Rhirshorn (talk) 01:26, 24 November 2016 (UTC)