Hi Margaret,
My name is Kelly, and I peer reviewed your article draft. I think it is a very interesting language, and I think you do a very good job in the lead section of the article. I have included my comments in italics and parentheses to make them distinguishable. I might suggest changing your "Culture" section to "Culture and History," since the language is no longer spoken. I am assuming that there are issues of displacement and land alienation of the speakers of the Pomo languages, if so definitely include it in that section. Also, I'm not sure if you are thinking about using images, but maybe a map would help by highlighting the exact location of the language. Also, is this a language that is only spoken? Has it been written down, are there issues with that, and/or is there translation work currently being done? What is the state of the language now, I know you said it is extinct, but is there any work being done to preserve it? Lastly, I would be careful with your word choice, because it can easily slip into an opinion or persuasive style without you meaning to do so. All in all, this is good work so far!! Good luck!!
Start a discussion about improving the User:Margaret.mccollum/sandbox page
Talk pages are where people discuss how to make content on Wikipedia the best that it can be. You can use this page to start a discussion with others about how to improve the "User:Margaret.mccollum/sandbox" page.
