-Pressure to find “the one”
-Might not live up to your expectations
-Race
-Religion
-Mistaking lust for love
-In a rush to get married -> settling
-Social media pressures
As it has been for centuries, love has been a very complicated and complex. The concept of love is even more so prevalent today in the world of social media, hook-ups, online dating and obtaining likes. Love has gained a an almost-superficial meaning, with many people marrying only for wealth or status. Many more people believe love to a false or fake thing, due to their belief that they are 'unable to achieve it'. Here we will explore the existential crisis that is love and marriage through the mythological stories of Proserpina, Orpheus and Eurydice, as well as the Great Gatsby.
-
Prosperpina
Unhealthy Marriage
The story of Proserpina all started because Venus was mad at the gods who did not give her as much power as she wanted. Because of this she decided to make the beautiful virgin daughter of Ceres into Hades’ wife to upset the powers of the gods. When Proserpina was stolen by Hades and brought to the underworld to be his wife, this was a forced marriage that she did not want a part of. This is a bad example of ‘love’ that we see in mythology, as it is not actually love, but rather abduction, rape, and an arranged marriage. In the six months that Proserpina gets to stay with her mother she is her happy self, but when she has to return to the underworld with her husband she is very sad. In modern day context this might be similar to a girl being kidnapped and forced into child marriage or human trafficking where it is non-consensual. In developing countries, on average, one in nine girls are married before the age of 15 years old. These marriages are not made out of love in any way and is just done out of means of ‘tradition’. While there is a small possibility of love forming in these marriages, it is more likely to be Stockholm syndrome than real love
-
Orpheus And Eurydice
Healthy Marriage
Orpheus and Euridice were happily married until Euridice was persuaded by Aristaeus in the forest where she was bit by a poisonous snake causing her to die instantly. Saddened by the loss of his wife Orpheus went to rescue her from the depths of the underworld. He used all of his abilities to get her back, charming Cerberus and convincing the Nymphs to tell him how to get to the underworld through mournful song. Orpheus was so in love with his wife that he was willing to go to hell and back and confront Hades himself, the king of the underworld, to be able to live with his Euridice again. Orpheus is granted his wish to leave the underworld with his wife under the condition that he does not look back at his wife when doing so. Orpheus fails this request and out of worry looks back at his wife, thus losing her forever. All this because Euridice was running away from Aristaeus while trying to be faithful to her husband and their marriage. This couple was so devoted to each other that their love defied death, so much so that Orpheus pleaded for his own death to be with his wife again forever in the underworld. While their relationship was amazingly tight-knit and there was a lot of trust between each of them, ultimately because Orpheus cared too much about his wife is why he lost her for a second time to Hades. How you can be too caring in a relationship . Gatsby and Daisy met five years prior to the story and fell in love. (Daisy not to the same extent) When Gatsby leaves for the war he returns to find that Daisy has been married to the wealthy, Tom Buchanan. Gatsby makes a fortune through bootlegging and other illegal means, with the plan to win back Daisy. Even though Gatsby and Daisy genuinely love each other, Gatsby has been consumed with the idealized image of Daisy for five years. During this five year span, Daisy has created a whole other life for herself.
It seems that if love was labeled as poison, we would drink it anyways. (Atticus) No one in this world can tell an individual what they can and can not love. Love is the only feeling that is vast and universal. Love does not need reason. An individual can love going on walks, simply just living in the moment and enjoying being outside. No one can tell them they can't love walking, and the person who loves walking does not need to justify their love for going on walks to anyone but themselves. However, when it comes to love and relationships with others and even sometimes question their own self worth associated with the number of "likes" an picture or a post can get. Humans often tend to have a more difficult time defining or even showing love towards others even though we are social beings. Many people use social media as a way to define their relationship with another person or group of people, such as being “Facebook” official. Individuals see the couples on social media and wish they could be in a relationship like the people in the photos. However, in actuality, the people in the photos aren’t even that couple. Just as standards are put on men and women to look a specific way, standards seem to be put on what is considered a “relationship”. Individuals are often so quick to put a label on relationships and even in nature. Once one labels a tree as a tree, it seems to loose its natural beauty. Individuals are so conditioned to give everything in the world a label too quickly to actually enjoy the world and people around them. Many struggle with the concept that they are "not enough" in their relationships. Therefore people want to put labels on their relationships with others. The reality of love is that love involves sacrifices. Some people are not able to get over themselves enough to fully comprehend what the meaning of sacrifice is.
An individual can learn to love someone, and then learn to love themselves much more. We see this in the Great Gatsby with Daisy. She falls in love with Gatsby, however learns to love his belongings and her own appearence more. When discussing making sacrifices, The Rape of Proserpina is a perfect example of what sacrifice is in a relationship. Sacrifices were made by both Pluto and Proserpina's mother. Hades had to sacrifice his time with Proserpina in order for her to be with her mother. Love is accepting someone as a whole, even when imperfections start to show. People often fall in love with the " flowers " of an individual but not the roots. When " autumn " (autumn referring to when things aren't so pretty, everything is dying) shows, people can begin to loose interest. This is a perfect example of where individuals can mistake lust for love. People can fall in love with a moment and think they're in love with their significant other.
Family, illnesses, and significant life changes can all have an effect on a relationship. When a family member does not agree with or like your significant other,for whatever reason, this can often challenge and end a relationship. Families can not like a significant other for factors such as how they look (race, tattoos, hair/ hair color) and even their religious beliefs This event does not only cause an issue with the significant other but it can also cause major problems within a family. Severe illnesses such as cancer or even having a child with an illness such as autism can really have a strain on a relationship. When being relied on, some people enjoy the clinginess and the feeling of being wanted. However, usually once the individual with an illness gets better, the other person in the relationship realizes they aren't needed anymore and sometimes leaves. Marriage in most cultures is considered a life long commitment, "till death do you part". Not many cultures are advocates for divorce. Some religions will even shun people who get a divorce. Some cultures even have arranged marriages where it isn't even about love. Love is challenging because people show love in all different ways. Some individuals need constant attention and others want little to no attention. This alone can cause conflict. In the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, Orpheus shows his love by chasing after his bride and going to save her. Even though he was warned that he may loose her, he still turns around to make sure she's still behind him. In doing this, he was aware that he could loose her but he does it anyways out of love. He ended up sacrificing her in the end.