User talk:Locke Perkins/sandbox

Latest comment: 9 years ago by 12thManSeaFan

Locke Perkins,

Sorry for the late edits, but I think your article is really great! It's very thorough and well written. The only edits I made were some rewording of minor parts of sentences to make them flow just a little better.

Good work my friend!

12thManSeaFan (talk) 02:42, 13 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

edit

Hello!

First of all I think you've added a lot of good and relevant information. Your lead section is strong and aptly describes and introduces the reader to the topic of youth exclusion.

There are a few places where I went in and edited grammar or some misplaced words-- feel free to change them back, I just thought it would be a little easier than tying to point them out on here!

In the "Poverty" section, it looks like one of your references wasn't done properly--I didn't want to mess it up so I thought I would just point it out for you!

There are a few places where the wording is a little complex and might be confusing to some Wikipedia users. I would work on writing in a way that anyone would be able to understand (it's something I know I need to work in on my article too).

You mentioned that you were unsure of where to put citation. What I do (and I'm pretty sure that it's correct) is, for sections that I have multiple sentences in a row with information from the same source, put a citation at the end of the paragraph. If your directly quoting a source, you should put a citation right after the quote as well.

Only other things I might suggest is adding a few more links in your article and (if you have the information to) expanding on some of your sections, especially the regional sections! Other than that, very well written and informative!

Nativ32 (talk) 02:37, 10 November 2014 (UTC)Reply