User talk:Kanemura Miku/sandbox

Somehow you created another sandbox not associated with your username, so I've pasted your work on your sandbox. Of the two topics listed, Hinatazaka46 looks more promising to be, just because it has less information and is less well-sourced. It can be surprisingly difficult to find quality information about musical groups, so let the research be your guide when making the final decision. Ctextor at uofu (talk) 13:05, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review

Peer review:

So far, I think you have really good information. It's crazy that they had so little information on the topic. I think the history section is a needed section and I think you did the layout very well. I like how it is separated into different parts and little paragraphs. I can't see any of the sources you have. So just make sure you cite your sources and maybe have more than less. Prof Textor said to have about one source per two sentences, so maybe that's a goal to have. Other than that, it looks great and you give a ton of new information on the topic so good job! Kanemura Miku (talk) 19:39, 15 November 2019 (UTC) Jordan Wunderli

Suggested improvments

I've glanced over the article and fixed some of the syntax, grammar, and spelling problems. However, since this is your article, I feel like it's best if I don't edit any further than that (and also I'm really busy outside Wikipedia right now). It's not quite ready for the mainspace yet, but here's some steps that you can take to improve the article further.

• Not everything belongs on Wikipedia: Only include the most important things to know about the group that the reader will need to know. The first concert probably should be included, but future concerts without any long term significance probably shouldn't. Other things to consider is when things are announced or ticket prices. I know that the Japanese Wikipedia has a lot more information, but please keep in mind the scope of the article, and make your decision.
• Organization: Currently the sections are grouped by year; I would make two sections instead, one about Hiragana Keyakizaka46 and Hinatazaka46 instead. Those are major divisions within the group's history, not exactly the years. Similarly, the information is currently organized like a timeline, which is not wrong per se, but can be a little disorienting what is going on. Instead, try put sentences that are about the same topic together and make the date that it happened clear.
• Linking: You want to link when it's helpful to do so. Imagine that an average person is reading the article: they'll probably not know what Budokkan or Yurina Hirate is, so you'll want to link that. However, you don't want to link the same thing too many times. The interlanguage link template is useful if the target article doesn't exist in English yet.
• Though not required, it's good to use the Nihongo template when useful.
• General prose: I still spot some grammar errors, but these are easy fixes. I can help you with this one after you address some stuff above.

Hope I didn't overwhelm you with this. Thanks for the work you put into this revision, and I look forward to reading your next revision! ◢   Ganbaruby!   (talk to me) 23:23, 3 December 2019 (UTC)