User talk:Jasminrw/Feminine hygiene
After reviewing your draft I thought that you had a lot of good ideas of what to add and expand on. Grammatically, you should change "douche" and make it plural when you refer to it in the first paragraph. I would also consider putting a period after "period panties" instead of a comma in the s=third sentence of the first paragraph, I think it would flow better as two different sentences. In the third paragraph in the first sentence you should change "Feminine hygiene products meant to" to "Feminine hygiene products that are meant to", it might make more sense to the reader. Also consider adding a section that talks about why women still use those cleaning products even though doctors advise against them. Then just add details to the Society and Culture section and the Risk section, everything else looks great.Elizaswack (talk) 03:42, 7 November 2019 (UTC)
Article draft feedback edit
This is a sound starting point for your article additions! The brief overviews of how each product functions are a particularly apt component to include. The biggest notes I have as you continue researching, adding, and revising are:
- The single biggest thing is to continue expanding content. Digging deeper into the "Risks" and "Society and culture" sections seem like great opportunities for expansion. What risks have been reliably associated with which products? Are there products that there is significant "risk" messaging around that is unsubstantiated? Each of the sections you have listed out under "Society and culture" also seem like great ideas to expand, and "History" could even become its own section
- Looking at your notes for further expansion, I would recommend avoiding any "how to" elements, as this is outside the purpose of an encyclopedia article, and the effects on the environment might be a stretch for this article
- I see one source in your reflist that is a product website (Thinx). You can link to this as an external link, but since its focus is marketing and selling a product, it isn't a good unbiased resource to use when sourcing your additions
- There is some use of "you" pronouns in here, which you will want to remove and replace with third person language instead
I think those are my biggest notes based on this draft. Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing your final edits! Nicoleccc (talk) 00:54, 9 November 2019 (UTC)