User talk:JGardyne32/projectdraft

Excellent progress thus far on your project draft. Mosterbur (talk) 15:34, 20 October 2018 (UTC)Mosterbur

Project Review from Shelby Alessandroni

The sections you have added are very well written. You added a lot of really good information that makes your topic on child labor in Nepal clear and easier to understand. I think adding the history of Nepal at the beginning of the article was a great addition. You organized your page into different sections and put them in an order that made it easy to understand and follow. I did not find any spelling errors. You added some really great sources, but there are only 7 in the reference section so I think adding more reliable sources would be helpful due to the amount of information you have provided.

-- Thank you for the advice, I do have some credible sources that I have found that I plan on adding. JGardyne32 (talk) 20:29, 5 November 2018 (UTC)JGardyne32

Project Review from Olivia Wright

The changes you made work really well in terms of organization. It's much easier to follow with the addition of headers, and the new content is well-placed. I don't think you really need the section, "What is Child Labor?" however, as it's a relatively general subject. While it does relate to the content of this page heavily, the information you'd most likely put here probably already has its own Wikipedia article. For something like this, a hyperlink could serve the purpose of explaining the context, without adding too much information that most likely exists elsewhere anyways. If need be, you could add a sentence (or two) description, but an entire section for child labor in general might be too much. If you want to add a section about child labor, it should be that which specifically exists in Nepal, not a general explanation. Everything else seems very necessary, and I think you added a lot of important information so far. I agree with Shelby about the sources, but I think it should also be mentioned that you could add sources to the pre-existing work, in addition to your own. There are a lot of places where the original writing is lacking in sources altogether, so it would be important to address this as well.

-- I appreciate your advice on the What is Child Labor section, after thinking about what you said I would have to agree. Thank you for taking the time to review! JGardyne32 (talk)JGardyne32