User talk:Iyernikita/sandbox
Selecting Possible Articles
editArea
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitvale,_Oakland,_California
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland,_California
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Oakland,_Oakland,_California
Sector
Evaluating Two Articles
editArea
editArticle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitvale,_Oakland,_California
In the brief history and summary of Fruitvale in the beginning of the article, there was a stark transition from the history to the shopping district that is currently present today. This transition, I believe, detracted from the intention of Fruitvale's identity. Furthermore, when looking at the history of Fruitvale in the history section, there was only a mention of a few organizations that were created during certain historical times periods and revolutions. However, there was no description or further elaboration on what these organizations' intentions were. On of the main avenues of this article that could contribute to a better understanding of my practice experience was looking more into the economic background and health issues that are prevalent within Fruitvale. There was no section in this article that regarded health issues and healthcare, except for the one sentence in the history section stating the establishment of La Clínica. Moreover, the economy section of Fruitvale also consisted solely of one line, listing only one group that operates within Fruitvale. Overall, there was a neutral point of view on describing the neighborhood of Fruitvale. However, one could argue that the previous writer was intended on portraying Fruitvale's continual renovation and upliftment into a modern city at present time, elaborating on the recent progress the neighborhood of Fruitvale has made. Checking the articles' links and citations, I found that many of them worked and appropriately linked up to the right information that corresponded to the citation in the article. By reading the article and then checking the citations chronologically with the article, I was able to connect the referred site and its information and how the previous author utilized that information to contribute to the neighborhood of Fruitvale. One thing I could also potentially add to the article was its relevance and contribution to the Oakland identity as well. Because Fruitvale is regarded as a neighborhood that is part of East Oakland, it could be informative to learn how Fruitvale fits in with the entirety of Oakland. Utilizing, paraphrasing, and citing links that correlate to the Oakland or East Oakland webpages could help achieve this. The majority of past conversations on the talk page have occurred over 3 months ago. The conversations covered the Jingletown section of the article and additional links and references that contribute to the site. I couldn't find the rating of the article Overall, based on my learning and understanding from my GPP class, I have found many holes that I could potentially look to fill in as part of my Wikipedia project. While the article as a whole regards Fruitvale in each avenue, there are many places in the article that doesn't touch up on a particular aspect of what encompasses the people of Fruitvale and might better understand the culture within Fruitvale compared to the rest of Oakland.
Sector
editArticle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preventive_healthcare
This article regarding preventative healthcare looks into preventative healthcare and diseases that are currently prevalent on a global scale. The entire article covers the majority of what preventative healthcare encompasses. However, there are areas that could be enhanced in order to improve a better understanding. For the most part, this article is oriented to address mostly US issues. While it does include statistics on a global scale, the majority of the article covers health issues and disparities mainly present within the US. Something that could be further elaborated and discussed in this article that would be relevant to my practice experience would be displaying the demographics on a global scale about health issues that are preventable. Showcasing the common and most prevalent diseases and health issues among different countries and regions can help give an idea of the most common health issues and diseases that are present all around the world. Throughout the article, there are explanations regarding some of the more common preventable diseases. By recognizing possibly where the majority of the world population experience and are faced with this disease to also gain a better demographic understanding of where these diseases are most prevalent on the globe. Another thing that could be added into the article was a more thorough description of how the underlying causes to preventative diseases are exacerbated worldwide. In the section describing causes that contribute towards preventable diseases, only the statistical information was mentioned. However, more information and explanation regarding each cause can help attain a better understanding of how cause contribute towards disease. The citations and references listed throughout the article are very much relevant to the topic in the article. While going chronologically through the reading, each link correctly corresponded to the linked information. There is a growing bias towards gaining a better understanding within the US more so than the rest of the world. While the article does briefly discuss health issues on a global scale, the majority of the article describes prominent diseases and health issues that are present within the US, such as obesity and STIs. However, overall there is a neutral voice when addressing the various preventative diseases and health issues that are prevalent around the world. This article page keeps relatively up to date on the latest statistics and information regarding preventative health. With the most recent edit date being February 6th, 2018, this site is checked pretty regularly in order to maintain the appropriate and recent information and statistics about preventative health. This page has been the site for level4-vital article in Science, Biology, noting its accuracy in its statistics and information regarding preventative health. It is also involved in multiple WikiProjects, such as Medicine, Health and Fitness, Politics, and Education, reaching different areas and avenues to address preventative health and its relevance on many levels towards population and community health. Overall, this article correlates with my growing understanding and learning about global poverty and addressing global poverty from my GPP class through looking between the lines of preventative health and how it is rooted amongst different populations. By gaining a better understanding of preventative health, I can understand certain causes and resources that people may or may not have that can contribute to their increased risk in preventable disease. It helps me better understand the community as a whole and their understanding of health and health-related issues. By looking at preventative health from all angles, both globally, nationally, socially, politically, and economically, I can understand the effects of healthcare and how it influences the implementations of preventative measures to reduce disease risk within different parts of the world.
Peer Review: Chloe Ciotti
editArea: Most of my comments are on the paper copy we did in class but I'll just summarize them again on here. We are doing the same area so for the demographics section I just have general statistics on people living in the area and just general stats on employment and education specific to race. If you would like to expand on it or change it at all, feel free! Also if you want to collaborate more I'm also happy to do that! For the Health Disparities section I think it would also be good to look at elderly when breaking it into age. For race, it could be interesting too look into barriers people face specific to their race such as language, culture, racism, etc. and see if there is research that discusses how those things complicate access to health care. For the Access portion, it could be interesting to look at the number of hospitals, clinics or health care providers specifically in East Oakland because another barrier might be transportation to a medical provider. If you find information on it potentially also adding therapist/psychiatrists or other mental health providers or dentists/orthodontist to get an expanse of the health care fields. Over all I think you have really good information and statistics for each topic you are talking about!
Sector: The article is well written and you do a good job of maintaining a neutral tone throughout the piece. You say there is debate on effectiveness and you have studies that back up that claim but I wonder if there are statistics that help push that claim either way or just in general about Chronic Disease self-management. Otherwise I think you have a well developed article! Just more numbers could be nice if there are some that you find! Good luck writing the rest! Cciotti22 (talk) 20:14, 15 March 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review: Rachelle Deguzman
editHi Nikita! Great job on your drafts- I loved reading all the information that you found. To be transparent, I feel like everything was good for the most part. I think you had very good structure and transitions. I'm not sure if you did this yourself or if this was already the order on the Wikipedia article but I liked how the headings flowed into each other. I also felt that everything was well supported because of your use of data. Great job!! Just one thing I would change is changing the term African Americans to blacks. We discussed this already but just to reiterate, not every black person is from Africa. This would just help with inclusivity.
— Preceding unsigned comment added by Iyernikita (talk • contribs) 03:51, 14 February 2018 (UTC)