User talk:Eunjee.son.151/sandbox

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Ryanlaber

Final comments from the class editor:

  • Great work!
  • This sentence seems to be missing a word: "Bordered by Broad street and bordered by Washington Ave. to the west it's style was very to a hospital in Athens, GA yet significantly larger."
  • In the 20th Century section, did ODOT, etc. move into the old hospital, or tear it down. Right now, this sentence leaves more to be desired: "The building was closed in the 1980s, in which it was replaced by the Ohio Department of Public Safety and Ohio Department of Transportation"

Ryanlaber (talk) 01:02, 15 December 2014 (UTC)Reply

Here are a few comments on your page:

  • Not really sure that Automobile Transportation belongs in the Lead Section. Suggest removal.
  • History Section: Good Start, would like to see more on the development of the area.
  • Geography: What about the difference between Hilltop and Greater Hilltop? I like the use of "Geographic Area" in describing the area, but I think you need to have a statement distinguishing the too. Also: what about people locally? How do they refer to it?
  • Demographics: This information is effectively 15 years old (2000 Census, its almost 2015). Update it.
  • Neighborhoods: Good Start, would like to see 3-4 sentences about each (like when it was developed, its location/boundaries).

Good Start!

Kenitzer.1 (talk) 15:00, 18 November 2014 (UTC)Reply


  • I really liked all of the illustration, it really makes the article look professional!
  • The wording of the last sentence of the intro paragraph is a little awkward to me, how can residents meet all their needs in the neighborhood?
  • The historical section went into a lot of depth, and gives a nice and concise story of the development of the neighborhood.
  • Really cool that you were able to get the demographic information, might have to steal that idea!
  • The land use section really puts the "suburban feel" claim made in the intro paragraph into context, I like it!
  • The bulleted lists at the end are a great way to end the article in my opinion, lots of clickable links made it fun to play around with.

I really like your article, I might steal some of these ideas and incorporate them into mine. I would just look at the intro paragraph and possibly rewording it a little bit. Bright.140osu (talk) 15:03, 4 December 2014 (UTC)bright.140Reply

A few comments from the class editor:

  • It seems this sentence from the lead section could be up for debate: "The development pattern has a distinct suburban feel." Perhaps you could rephrase and say the area is generally considered a suburb. Ask the instructor about this one.
  • In History/Early History, you give citations for certain sentences in the middle of the paragraph, but other sentences that would need a citation are not cited (eg "It was also known as the largest prisoner camp in the north, with over 9,000 prisoners in 1865."). If your citation applies to the entire paragraph, place it at the end of the paragraph. This goes for all sections.
  • Who created the plans in the History/Modern Era section. Can links be provided to these plans online?
  • In Structures and Landmarks, is the entire Ohio DOT located in Hilltop or just one of their office buildings? Same goes for the OH DPS.
  • Since you have an education section, are there any schools in Hilltop? Is it in the Columbus Public School district?
  • Citations needed for Notable People section

Ryanlaber (talk) 04:35, 9 December 2014 (UTC)Reply

Instructor Comments No. 2

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Well-written

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  • Needs copy editing.
  • Break things into paragraphs.
  • History needs work.

Verifiable with no original research

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  • Needs more citations in history section.

Broad in its coverage

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  • I has necessary detail, develop a list of the neighborhoods

Neutral

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  • Good work here, but copy editing is needed.

Stable

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  • No Comments.

Illustrated

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  • Good work on incorporating photos.

Kenitzer.1 (talk) 15:07, 4 December 2014 (UTC)Reply