User talk:Estherdvorkin/sandbox

Peer Review - Anne denOtter

-The About Shiva section does a good job of providing an overview of what it is. I think that you could combine some of this section with the pre-existing lead section to have a strong introduction to the topic. I would also reword some of the sentences so that they flow more easily when reading them, some of the wording threw me off.

-I like that you added the historical accounts section. I would definitely also add the story of Job to that, as mentioned in the original article.

-I think that it is interesting that you also added the section on Sheloshim. I think it is a great detail to add but I think you should mention each of five stages and then link them to their respective pages. You probably don't need to add as much detail about all the other stages but maybe talk a little about the second stage and how it links to Shiva because I liked how you related it to the stage following shiva.

-I like how you elaborate on the timing of Shiva and Sheloshim. I think that you could make the exceptions for the different holidays sub categories of the timing header that you have. So you could combine "computing the timing of shiva and sheloshim" and "religious holidays during times of mourning" sections into one.

-I also think you could combine the "place of observance" and "shiva house" sections. The shiva house section could be a sub-section of the place of observance section because they are related. I like how you elaborate on the importance of candles and mirrors.

-the link to the meal of condolences page does not work. You might want to double check if this page exists or how it is spelled.

-You may want to re-name the "traditions" section because its such a vague term. Maybe "symbolism" or "traditional considerations" would work better.

-Overall, I think you do a very good job of covering all of the important aspects. You have a lot of sources which is good, but be sure to cite after every sentence. I am usually told that more you cite the better, so that there is no question as to where the idea came from. I think the way that you broke up the sections is logical and that you can combine a few of them into one. Since this is just a rough outline of what you are intending to write, I would focus on cleaning up some of the wording of the sentences so that they are more logical, especially to someone that knows nothing about the topic.

-Looks great so far!AnneD17 (talk) 17:40, 18 March 2018 (UTC)

@AnneD17: Thank you so much for all your help! I really appreciate you taking the time to do so! I will take all your suggestions into consideration and begin re-writing and editing ASAP.

Peer review - Morgan Mills

I broke my peer review down section by section, but here's a general review: There is a lot of great structure and clear information in this article, so far. You have several references, all of which seemed neutral and reliable (I noticed you also used a biblical reference regarding

About Shiva: -Lead section was clear and it gave a very clear understanding of ShivA -Slightly unclear structure, however, I know you said you were away on Spring break, so I’m sure that was a contributing factor.

Sheloshim: -Clarity -short enough -doesn’t consume a lot of the article which is good because its not the main topic -neutral

Computing the timing of Shiva and Sheloshim: -I am confused about the concept of “partial days” -But otherwise, the timing for both stages was clear -neutral

Religious Holidays during Times of Mourning -Very clear -I like how you clarified that for the Sabbath day, it is not considered a major holiday -I really liked how you went into detail for how each holiday handles Shiva -I almost wrote in my notes that I had wished you would go into specific holiday details, so I am glad you did

Place of Observance -Very clean and understandable -You actually mentioned that Shiva must take place within the home a few times before this section, but I like that you reemphasized it here

Shiva House – Preparing the Home for Mourning -I Loved the last part about moving the candles to lessen the feelings of sorrow – thought it was a very good detail to include -Clear and understandable

Prayers in the Shiva House -I liked that you gave a detailed list of all the prayers

Returning from Funeral -I liked how this part was broken down into 2 sections: washing hands and Meal of condolences (very organized) -I like the list of food you gave in “meal of condolences” Traditions Again, I liked how you split the sections into 3 areas: shoes & Hygiene, sitting -you may want to consider putting the sitting at the intro part of this section -Very clear

-Several References (including some biblical references) -Definitely neutral content — Preceding unsigned comment added by M.mills3 (talk • contribs) 17:17, 19 March 2018 (UTC)