User talk:Curlygirl897/Perennial crop
Article Review
editThere are some things I considered both good and bad about your article. One major thing is that there are some sections that still do not have information. I feel that once those are filled out it will look better. A major thing I liked is that there are multiple pictures, which I feel makes the article better overall and more informative. Another major thing I liked is that there are a significant number of references. I feel like it lends the article credibility to have a lot of references, so it is good to see that you have a lot. A minor thing I disliked is that in the section with bulleted ideas some are capitalized and some are not. I feel like it would be better to make them all uniformly capitalized or non-capitalized. Another minor issue I noticed is that some of the paragraph titles are a bit long so it might be better to make them more concise. The final minor issue I had is similar to the first in that sometimes you capitalized the word perennial and sometimes you didn't. I feel like it would also be better to stay with either capitalizing it every time or not capitalizing it at all. Ttbioclass (talk) 04:24, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much for the awesome suggestions I believe I've applied them all! Curlygirl897 (talk) 17:47, 31 October 2022 (UTC)
Hello, I liked how you began your article with an overview of what a perennial plant is and then the differences between perennial and annual. There are a few things I would recommend adding or changing. First, you have a picture of Kernza displaying a long root system. It would be helpful if you also include a picture of an annual root system to show the difference between perennial and annual plants. Second, you mention the word "senescence". I would recommend that you highlight that word and insert a hyperlink to the definition of senescence since not many people will know what that word means. Third, you may want to add a comma between "provide" and "perennial" in the following sentence: "Besides the many ecosystem services which they provide perennial plants also provide other benefits to the environment as well.” Finally, you may want to rewrite the last sentence of the "Perennial Plant and global warming" section. The flow of the sentence is hard to read. Overall, I think your first draft is a nice start. Nica88 (talk) 21:15, 27 October 2022 (UTC)Nica88
- Thanks so much for the feedback! I believe I made changes everywhere that you mentioned! Curlygirl897 (talk) 19:22, 31 October 2022 (UTC)
Kenneth's Review:
This is an interesting article, easy to read and great outline. However, you can add one or more sentences in the Perennial plants overview segment to describe few things about perennial plants asides their life cycle. In the segment on Defining characteristics : Perennial plants vs annuals, it would be great to arrange or present the characteristics in the form of structure, morphology, and other differing features between perennials and annuals. I also liked how you included root picture here.
The second sentence in the Perennial Species Potential uses segment needs a punctuation (Traditionally{,} most of the species used for agriculture which promote high yields have been non-native and or annual). Additionally, the interesting nature of your article would make your readers to want to know more, hence, it would be great to include more information on each of the highlighted services provided by perennial crops. You might need to focus more on the mechanisms through with they do this and cite research works to back it up.
Finally, you have to write the botanical names of the first two plants in Italics. Also, you might need to include more information on each of these plants, focusing on their distribution in the Midwest, current state, use, etc. Although the heading of this segment states 'Perennial Crops Species in the Midwest', but the content seemed to focus on perennial plant species currently being considered for domestication. This might get your reader confused, as your reader might be seeing the term 'Domestication' for the first time. I suggest that you create another segment which talks about perennial plant candidates undergoing domestication in Midwest.
Overall, this is an interesting article that would make it's reader to want to know more, hence, including more information would make it excellent. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ogwu94 (talk • contribs) 21:33, 3 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much for the awesome suggestions!
- I believe I addressed all of the changes you suggested. For example I added some information to the overview section. I also added some structural differences between perennials and annuals and separated those sections. I also added the comma after traditionally in the section you mentioned. I also when back and added the mechanisms by which perennial plant species provide ecosystem services. I also Italicized the names of both of the plant species. I intend to add more information about the species mentioned as well. I also changed the title of the section on perennial crop domestication. 2600:6C40:0:77E:DD1C:E276:1FEB:576F (talk) 21:20, 25 November 2022 (UTC)
- Also this^ is Nia by the way! Curlygirl897 (talk) 21:25, 25 November 2022 (UTC)
Danielle's Review:
editI think this is a great draft! I mostly have small scope edits (typos or rewording suggestions). I agree with Kenneth that the overview could use a couple more sentences. I also agree that you might need to add a "domestication" heading or at least explain domestication further for those who are unfamiliar with the concept.I really like that you put the benefits of perennial crops in very concise bullet point form!
I was curious if you would be changing the title of the perennial crop page or if you were just going to add the bit about midwestern agriculture. I think the overall subject should still be perennial plants, not agriculture specific, so if you are replacing the original content you might consider adding back a few other examples of species that are not used for ag.
For small suggestions I noticed the following:
I'm not sure "perennial" has to be capitalized every time it is used in "perennial plants." It is being used as an adjective so it shouldn't need capitalization. In your header "defining characteristics: perennial plants vs annuals" I would suggest either saying "perennial vs annual plants" or "perennial plants vs annual plants." Just to be extra clear in the header. The last sentence in the perennial characteristics section has a typo - "emerging" should be "emerge." I think the second sentence in the annual characteristics section should have a comma after "in contrast to perennial plant species," The second sentence under Perennial Species Potential uses should have a slash between "and or" aka should be "and/or" 2600:6C40:58F0:88A0:7095:BC69:53F7:9D4C (talk) 23:30, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much for the awesome feedback!
- I added to the overview. I ended up changing the title back to the previous title which is perennial species and their use in agriculture because I initially meant for the article to cover that. I also changed the header as well as the sentence that needed editing as well. 2600:6C40:0:77E:DD1C:E276:1FEB:576F (talk) 21:24, 25 November 2022 (UTC)
- Also this^ is Nia by the way! Curlygirl897 (talk) 21:26, 25 November 2022 (UTC)
- Hello again,
- I also added a section with some information on domestication. Curlygirl897 (talk) 17:26, 5 December 2022 (UTC)
Dr. Fowler's suggestions:
editDefining characteristics is beautifully written, as is the overview. This may be repeat info from other parts of Wikipedia, but if it makes sense to have them in the article you are adding to, you can leave it in (e.g., it is likely important to introduce them for the benefits to make sense).
Are you able to add citations in the potential uses paragraph for some of the statements you are making that are not currently cited? (e.g., native pollinators, combating soil erosion, etc.)
There were a couple incomplete sentences: “However, while this practice has led to the cultivation of crop varieties which possess traits favorable to humans. Combine with next sentence and shorten.” And “As well as the many ecosystem services already mentioned which they provide for agricultural use.” (this second one, you could probably delete, and also delete “as well” in the next sentence in that paragraph.
Listing the ways that perennials are helpful was done really nicely. I would remove the citations and just continue the sentence by the bullet points instead.
The way you presented the different crops was also really easy to read, and had a nice amount of information – enough to communicate why the crop is being used, but not overly jargony.
I would combine combine and simplify a couple of the sentences in the last section (the ones that seem like they repeat similar information).
Overall, you struck a nice balance between lots of good information, but not overly complicating the message. Your writing was easy to follow, written appropriately for a lay audience, and provided a lot of different pathways folks could follow up on if they are interested in the topic. Kasey Fowler-Finn , Dec 6 at 7:34pm — Preceding unsigned comment added by Curlygirl897 (talk • contribs) 00:25, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much for your awesome suggestions Dr. Fowler!
- I believe I addressed all of the changes that you suggested. For example I added citations to the potential uses section. Curlygirl897 (talk) 00:36, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
- I also reworded the section on potential uses as well. I also changed and corrected the sentences that you referenced in your review. I also removed some of the unnecessary citations on the bullet points in the benefits section and continued the sentences on the same line with each of the bullet points. I also reworded some of the sentences in the last section as well. Curlygirl897 (talk) 00:44, 11 December 2022 (UTC)