User talk:Cook.tanner/Pickathon

Article draft feedback

This is a solid draft expansion for this article! Getting a clear history section delineated goes a long way in making it more robust. The biggest notes I have as you continue researching, adding, and revising are:

• Are you seeing the "Overview" section as the new lead of the article? If so, it won't have a heading and will be above the table of contents. If it's an expansion on some of the general information introduced in the existing lead, then it works fine as it's currently formatted.
• Direct quotes aren't generally used in encyclopedia entries. If there is important information to paraphrase or summarize within the quotes you use here, you will want to do that in your own words.
• There are some grammar and sentence things to pay attention to when you're to a proofreading stage with this--there is some confusion with tense consistency (for example, "Pickathon also offers camping, and food options on site. Each artist/act will perform..." shifts from simple present tense--offers--to future progressive--will perform), and also some work to do with semicolons (Google "Grammar Girl semicolons" for a quick and accessible tutorial on these, or you can reference the resources we looked at in our week 2 Moodle forum). Also some phrasing clarity (this stood out to me in the mention of low attendance when it was at Horning's Hideout as though we had already known attendance was low there...but it hadn't been mentioned yet. If you can get numbers for this and introduce those before referencing back to them, that would be ideal. Otherwise, clarifying the phrasing would be helpful.)
• Each statement of fact (such as "Pickathon originally started in 1999 as a fundraiser for the FM radio station, KBOO") should have a link to the relevant source(s) in your reflist at the end of the sentence, rather than just once at the end of the paragraph.
• Are you considering adding an image to this?

I think those are my biggest notes based on this draft. Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing your final edits! Nicoleccc (talk) 01:55, 9 November 2019 (UTC)