User talk:Brook597/sandbox
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Josefhoracek in topic The Lead
Group2
editHello, Brook! Welcome to Wikipedia!Tdao 1 (talk) 16:59, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
Added sources and citations
editI added 4 sources and citations to Greek sea gods. Brook597 (talk) 01:24, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
Sources
editI added 4 sources and citations to Greek sea gods. [1] [2] [3] [4] Brook597 (talk) 16:40, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- Your sources look good, but they should be in the sandbox, not the talk page. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:49, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
The Lead
editI don't see your draft for a lead. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:29, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
- I'm sorry to say your lead isn't good. Your language is too vague and doesn't properly explain what a death rate is or what happened with death rates in the twentieth century. Part of the problem is that the article itself isn't very good. I suggest doing the following: first of all, revise the lead using language from the article. Define clearly how a death rate is measured and say a thing or two about changing death rates and their causes in the twentieth century. Secondly, you should delete the section containing the table on highest death rate worldwide. It has nothing to do with the twentieth century. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:14, 8 November 2015 (UTC)
- ^ Heinz-Günther Nesselrath (2005). ‘Where the Lord of the Sea Grants Passage to Sailors Through the Deep-Blue Mere no More’: The Greeks and the Western Seas. Greece & Rome, 52, pp 153-171 doi:10.1093/gromej/cxi003
- ^ "Poseidon." Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6Th Edition (2015): 1. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.
- ^ "Oceanus." Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6Th Edition (2015): 1. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.
- ^ Feyerabend, Paul. "Reason, Xenophanes And The Homeric Gods." Kenyon Review 9.4 (1987): 12. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.