User talk:Anniechung019/sandbox

Hi Annie,

I think overall there is a lot of great information that you have given regarding the Komo Language. I would like to give you my thoughts about what I think of it so far. The lead section contains important information that does give the reader a great sense of what you are talking about. However, I also think it may contain some unnecessary and repetitive information that detracts from the ‘encyclopedic’ tone Professor Haberl discussed we should have. For example, both the first and second sentences refer to how the language originates from the Sudan-Ethiopia border. I think you can combine the two sentences so you don’t mention the same information twice. I also think your sentence, “Although the Komo language is greatly understudied, more information is being revealed as researchers are discovering more data about other languages within the Koman family”, is unnecessary because it seems to make the language seem unimportant. The final example I would like to discuss refers to your sentence, “Many individuals from Komo are multilingual because they are in close proximity to Mao, Kwama, and Oromo speakers.” While this is interesting information, I do not feel it belongs in the lead paragraph because it is talking about the people that speak the language, not the actual language itself. I think this information would be best placed in a subsection.

I think your subsections have great information, and the examples you give further enhances the article.

Your references seem to mention great sources; however, I do not think your references have been properly formatted to the APA style. For example, your third reference should be this citation:

Otero, M. A. (2014). Notes from the Komo Language Discover Your Grammar Workshop (pp. 7-22). Addis Ababa, Ethiopia: Benishangul-Gumuz Language Development and Multilingual Education Project.

I think it is important you review your references to make sure they have been properly formatted. Other than that, I think you are off to a great start, and I look forward to reading your finished article.

Hello Anniechung019, your article really looks like its coming together! I think your lead section is a pretty good length. It is short and right to the point, but you could maybe add another sentence about the language being endangered or only having a limited number of speakers. Other than that, I really like how you have already started your History section with any additional information not needed in the lead section. I added a citation needed for the sentence in this section about the 2007 Ethiopian census. As mentioned above, some of your references in your bibliography may need a little more work and seem to be missing some information. I have also alphabetized them for you. Overall, your article seems to be going really well! Best of luck in finishing it! Alexandracross (talk) 17:26, 7 April 2017 (UTC)