User talk:Angela Reighard/sandbox

Possible sources: WORK IN PROGRESS

Review

Latest comment: 10 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

There's some good expansion work here. A few pointers:

You've moved a section of text from the body of the article into the lead - this makes sense superficially, but remember that the lead is supposed to summarise what's in the body. Information should never appear only in the lead and nowhere else. There's now no reference to the New Yorker article in the main text; you need to reintroduce that. It might be worth putting that paragraph back where it was and rewriting the lead section as a summary of the whole article.
Worth mentioning that you've done a grand job of adding sources - that on its own would be a huge improvement.
I like the addition of the "Cultural implications" section, that's a very nice idea.
It would be worth reviewing the paragraph on Hillbilly Days towards the end; the current text (which I know you didn't write) is rather promotional in tone. I think this could probably be cut down to one or two , especially since we already have an article on the subject.
When you make your changes to the live article, you'll need to take the colons out from the start of the Category links at the bottom - what the colon does is break the namespace syntax to create a direct link. They were put in automatically by a bot to stop your draft from being listed in those categories, but you'll need to take them out again when you move the page back into mainspace.