User talk:Andrewpengyu/Little Sheep Group

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Benjamin Mako Hill in topic Feedback on your article

Feedback on your article

edit

@Andrewpengyu: I've taken a look at your article and at the changes that you've made. It looks like you've focused on adding a section on (1) "History", (2) "Material From Xilinguole Grassland" and (3) "Special Dished" and (3) "Special Sauce."

Your article is not ready to be moved and I think there are issues with each section.

First, the first two sections are not actually about the restaurant group but really about the name or concept. The second part in particular is about a set of grasslands. There are also major problems with tone and it reads very much like an advertisement. For example this paragraph:

Xilin Gol League with a long tradition and history, it has the magnificent beauty, and the dynamic beauty of the wind and the grass, and the dynamic beauty of cattle and sheep; and there is a blue sky and white clouds, green grass, and herdsmen and horses. The blooming flowers of the typical grassland of Phaeton Siler reproduce the beauty of the wind, the grass, the cattle, and sheep. The Xilin River Jiuqu Eighteen Bay is like a white Hada floating on the grassland, which will make you linger. When the summer is approaching, the beautiful scenery of Wuzhumuqin Meadow is a green ocean. Noble peony flowers and beautiful mandarin flowers bloom together. White clouds float in the endless blue sky. Herdsmen and horses, cattle and sheep, all coupled with yurts of smoke and slowly moving Lele cars, will surely make tourists feel refreshed and relaxed. When you step into this magical land, you can experience the history and culture of northern nomads.

Although this is a beautiful description, this is (a) not about the subject and (b) not really appropriate for any Wikipedia article. Perhaps most problematically, (c) it appears to be a translation or paraphrasing of the same text that is translated and paraphrased on this page. I'm worried about plagiarism and copyright issues.

The second two sections are mostly a menu (although they have issues of tone as well).

You should set up some time to talk to altsalt. You're going to need to redo most of this work before you can move anything ready to move over. —mako 03:36, 14 February 2020 (UTC)Reply