User talk:Agarwal.son/sandbox

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Agarwal.son

I think you do a good job of adding new information and organizing the current article's Causes section. The information you've included has a good number of citations from diverse sources.

Some changes I would suggest:

  • The study mentioned in "In a study of 793 mothers and children" should be cited
  • maybe go into a little more detail about the disorder specific mechanisms being researched.
  • the amount of coverage in the socioeconomic status, and genetics sections are a lot less then the other sections. If possible maybe try to elaborate or find more studies supporting the sections?
  • you should double check on what you inputted for citation 1 and 6 since there seem to be errors highlighted in red

And a few grammar things:

  • Currently, there are no definitive causes or Currently, there is no definitive cause
  • depending on the disorder, the individual, and the circumstance would better parallel the rest of the list
  • This sentence is a bit awkward: "In the following study, retrospective reports of abuse were matched with a clinical population that had demonstrated psychopathology from childhood to adulthood who were later found to have experienced abuse and neglect." You kind of repeat that abuse point by saying "retrospective reports of abuse were matched" and then saying "later found to have experienced abuse and neglect"
  • Additionally, poor parenting has been shown
  • colons in your headings probably won't be needed once you transfer your draft to the article

--Jo.wong (talk) 00:39, 5 August 2017 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for the suggestions! I have made the grammar corrections and fixed the citations. Additionally I am looking for more supportive material for socioeconomic status and genetics. Agarwal.son (talk) 18:21, 11 August 2017 (UTC)Reply