Hi A,
Your additions to this article definitely give more dimension this section. I'm not sure if you were planning to interweave your additions into the existing paragraph. I think it would be helpful to combine the information in the existing paragraph and yours and then restructure it to show all of the effects (crime, employment, health, demographics, socio-economic).
Also, you may want to restructure your sentences that use the phrase "some argue" to help control bias.
Good start! I look forward to reading the final version.
Lesley