User talk:Abirt4/Science of Unitary Human Beings

Please look at the significant revisions I have made to your article, especially with regard to the inclusion of appropriate hypertext, changes in style, reductions in redundancy, conciseness of language, and organization. The best way to see these changes as compared to your original draft is by clicking on its "View history" tab. This article still needs a lot of work before it would be ready for mainspace. You did not follow Wikipedia guidelines for citations and references, so all of these need to be fixed. You neglected to include several of the references that you cited and include some, such as Fantastic Archaeology (?) that make no sense here (the article that I recommended that you read is the one by Alan Sokal in Archaeological Fantasies, edited by Garrett Fagan). If you read it, you will find material that can be included in the new section on "Criticisms". Since the Science of Unitary Human Beings is controversial, you must include other information and references that provide adequate balance. The article by Sokal will help you with some of this, but you should also seek other sources. One of the principal aspects of this assignment was the challenge of writing about something controversial using a balanced perspective and a neutral point of view. Please note that only three days ago a new article on the Science of Unitary Human Beings was put into mainspace. I think that it would be good to merge your article with that one once you have addressed the issues (especially references and the "Criticisms" section) that I mention here. Hoopes (talk) 00:38, 24 November 2010 (UTC)

Jsfouche, creator of the mainspace page, has indicated willingness to help with merging your corrected article with the one in mainspace. Please contact him via the relevant section on his talk page. Hoopes (talk) 18:33, 24 November 2010 (UTC)