User talk:A.B.highland/A’s Queer Theory and Queer Methods in Communication Studies and LGBTQ+ Organizational Communication and Policies

feedback

Hi @A.B.highland, I am taking a peek at everyone's sandbox to check in. Well done getting your first draft ready.

• Tone: "can help grow and change the communication discipline for a more inclusive future" This is an example of promotional tone, in the way that you write what queer studies can do or aspires to do.. but what has it done already? This interdisciplinary field has been around since the 90's - what has resulted from introducing queer studies into the communication studies field?
• "looking at this from a global perspective " What do you mean by this? How do you look at this from a global perspective? What is being taken in to account?
• Heteronormativity - How is this relevant with the idea of Queer theory and communication studies?
• Asking questions to the reader is ok in a blog or someone's website, but an encyclopedia is informative. Where are there discussions of how queer theory should be practiced? Who's having these discussions?

I think the main takeways are to be clear and informative with your writing. We're not trying to convince the reader of how awesome queer theory is (even though we might feel that way), as writers we want to the present the facts on what's been done, what it is Queer communication studies, what it does. I think you're on the right path, just have to tweak the writing a bit to be more encyclopedic. Looping in @OsaRosa.

Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:33, 15 April 2024 (UTC)

Thank you Brianda for your feedback! I will make sure to edit my writing to it is more neutral and explains some of the terms and jargon used. (A.B.highland (talk) 16:52, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

The first bit of feedback you had on tone I will edit by removing that sentence and finding a better less promotional way to state that. I will be sure to explain what I meant by a global perspective. I will explain the relevance of heteronormativity to queer theory and communication studies. I will edit my last paragraph to explain what discussions around queer theory are happening. Thank you for your feedback! A.B.highland (talk) 17:56, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

A's Peer Review

Hey A, you had a good lead for the topic. Everything is relevant to the topic, you make neutral statements, and the article is properly balanced with the sources. I feel your sources are good and will help you. Like your bibliography, for some reason the article links are not working in the sandbox, maybe relink them.

I did not notice any word in the paragraphs that would be words to watch. In paragraph two I would change 'our culture' to 'the culture' as not every reader comes from the same type of culture you are describing. Besides that you did a great job at remaining neutral and describing the information. ~~~~ Caitlinpretzel (talk) 03:04, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Thank you C! I will make sure to fix my citations. (A.B.highland (talk) 16:48, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

I will also be sure to change the comment about culture, so it is more neutral to any reader that may come across our class page. (A.B.highland (talk) 17:57, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Dr. E's Review

A, please see my feedback in Canvas to reply to here on explaining concepts further, Words to Watch, and references. Good start here! Please see Brianda’s great feedback above on Words to Watch and writing style and C’s helpful feedback too. (OsaRosa (talk) 05:26, 16 April 2024 (UTC))

Thank you Dr. E! I will be sure to look at your canvas feedback and implement those changes. I will also look at Brianda's feedback and change my writing style so it is more neutral. (A.B.highland (talk) 16:49, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Hey Dr. E. I will be sure to define the jargon terms so all readers can understand what I am talking about. I will edit paragraph 1 and 2 by re-citing my sources, so it is clear where my information is coming from and I do not write too much between cites. I will be sure to follow Brianda's feedback about words to watch as well as not being too repetitive in my explanations of heteronormativity. I will also be sure to remove the extra references I have on the page. Thank you! (A.B.highland (talk) 18:01, 16 April 2024 (UTC)