User:Vghfr/Essays/Clever debate tricks that the WMF don't want you to know
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 | This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline. Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community. |
Sockpuppeting edit
This trick involves some technical know how, but it shouldn't be too hard. Just a couple simple steps!
- Log out of your current account
- Make a new account
- Use this account to defend yourself in an argument!
Alternatively you can use an IP account if you don't want to make a new one. Be careful though! You might get caught by the truth-hating admins! To avoid this you should:
- Become an extended-confirmed editor on the sockpuppet account (ideally increasing your edit count by bot or pointless edits)
- Use a VPN or proxy to mask your IP
- Gaslight admins into thinking your sockpuppet is a different person (or, even better, make them question the mere existence of the account all together. OR, EVEN BETTER, make them have an existential crisis and make them doubt the belief of reality and the universe and themselves!) Remember, the goal is to put them in an insane asylum (it's surprising they're not already, considering they managed to become an admin in the first place.)
Meatpuppeting (mmm delicious) edit
Don't want to sockpuppet? Is it not working for you? Then why don't you meatpuppet? It's like sockpuppeting, except with other people! This can be achieved in 4 easy steps!
- Find a gullible, unbitten newcomers
- Inspect the newcomer. Do they look bitable? If so, bite them. Then return to step one until you find a prime specimen for meatpuppeting.
- Enlist them to your cause. Starting a secret cabal is highly recommended.
- Use your newly enlisted newcomers to further forward your cause, to win arguments, and to take over Wikipedia.
Ignore all rules edit
This one explains itself. Abuse WP:IGNORE.
Assume bad faith edit
Everyone is out to get you. They want to prevent you from spreading the truth. Always be paranoid. If someone makes a bad edit, they did it on purpose. They're obviously a vandal. If someone says something you don't like, they're harassing you. Harass them back. Fight fire with fire. But most important of all, ALWAYS win. If you don't win, accuse them of fraud. It was rigged! Consensus always rules against the correct!
Call everyone a Nazi edit
You know that user that reverted your edit because you decided to put "poo poo" in the lead paragraph of the article for Joe Biden? Yeah, they're a Nazi. A Jew-hating Nazi. Of course, you can call them other things. "Commie" works as well, and if you're really a mature, level-headed and logical editor, you could call them "gay." Slurs work too! There's an entire page of options! And if you're really creative, just call them by the political ideology they identify with, appended with "-tard."
Claim that it was a joke edit
When all things fail, you can just claim that it was a harmless joke! It will always work, even when you delete the main page, because remember, all disruptive activity is really funny and people will always get a good laugh out of it.
Become an admin and abuse your power edit
Because remember, nobody can argue with an admin, especially a rouge admin! And, as a plus, adminship is a permanent position (definitely) so you'll always be immune to any attempts to dethrone you from your rightful position.