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"I had left secondary school by the time I found out about delightful, state-sponsored organisations such as the UDA and UVF."

"Your average Cornish nationalist is just an Anglo-Saxon jumping on a ethnocentric bandwagon to claim an imagined underprivileged status and manufactured culture. Remember, if shit happens in Cornwall, it's because you're Cornish and the English hate you."

"The CPC are a comedy show. It's just that the people aren't in on the act, but are often used as props."

"Many English cities are so ugly that a second blitz might not be a bad idea. Just don't rebuild them the way you did. In fact, maybe don't rebuild them at all."