Script for Les Enfants D’ombre Characters Captain Hawk- A war veteran and special ops specialist, respected war hero, very sarcastic and self-styled, almost a villain (Sam) Squad Leader “Snake”- an at times dim-witted soldier but with plenty of battle skill (Andy) General Adams “Fox” a highly Larger than life character, very loud and over-the-top, doesn’t like Captain Hawk Much (CJ) Private Harry, real name Freda . Codename __________, a girl disguised as a Boy (badly) girly but extremely skilled and withdrawn. (Kirsty) Possible character- Trouble Making Spy “Tre”, a background character know to the audience but not the play characters. (CJ?) Johnny Sakai-Skunk – Smart, Alcoholic and Quiet (unless Drunk)- (Emma) Hunter- a Russian hitman sent to get Harry- (CJ) Volgin Romanova -another Russian hitman sent to get Harry as well- (Sam)
Stage directions- are in red
Speech- is in Black
Undecided speech- in Blue (unless stated otherwise)
Undecided Stage directions – in purple (unless stated otherwise)
Scene 1- Short Introduction- Middle of no where
Andy and Kirsty on Stage
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Scene 2-Training Room The Soldiers will burst through the back hall doors from each side and move up onto the stage The soldiers move around in a fashion which looks very official in a military way. But they are all shaking and sweating apart from “Snake”. The audience will catch a shot of a mysterious figure, moving around in the background, then when one of the soldiers is left on his own his is about to move with the others when he is grabbed from behind in a chokehold and dragged behind a block, one of the soldiers drinks from a bottle (Johnny) Then a few seconds later another is. Then the figure moves out into view, and pulls out a revolver.
Captain Hawk: BANG!
The soldiers turn round with their guns holding them up to aim and then aim at the audience with water guns and fire a few rounds then put them down, realising who it is. The Squad leader pulls of his balaclava and runs up to Captain Hawk
Squad Leader: what the hell was that? With a heavy unfairly treated kid style Captain Hawk: Come on! Where was any co-ordination! , I have seen mongoose with better military grace! Squad Leader: But you have been voted Sneakiest man of the year by the H.M.A.F! Captain Hawk: They are a very generous award group Squad leader: I’m sure Captain Hawk: You still stink like a bag of dead cats in a dumpster Squad Leader: Ha, aren’t you kind, well we’ll start again, and can I have the rest of my soldiers conscious? If you’ll ever do a favour?
Captain Hawk: Fine but you ought to be doing better, or you’ll never get anywhere
Squad Leader: What ever, Narrows eyes and looks slightly cheeky, Captain Captain smirks at the Leader, and then starts walking away and does the hand gesture of honour. The soldier’s re-setup and then the scene freezes
Scene 3 Lunch Time and Introduction of Harry Johnny Sakai and Squad Leader “Snake” sit down at the lunch table. “Snake”:God that Captain is so unfair I mean he’s worse than Sgt Meryl at boot camp Skunk: Maybe so Takes A Swig from the Bottle Snake: yes so, god why did I sign up for Les Enfants D’ombre pauses and how did you get in? Skunk; hmmm not quite sure, I must have done something. Drinks Somemore Snake: Well it must have been, something major, because not just anyone gets into this Unit Skunk: Well, I dunno, I mean lots of people get in, but not many stay in.... Snake: Perhaps, Skunk Takes another Drink and you won’t stay in much longer if you keep drinking. Skunk: I beg to differ Snake: Of Course, you do Skunk- Dam Straight Scene freezes and moves to Captain Hawk.
Captain Hawk is sitting in his section of the lunch room when The general is marching Private Harry to the captains section General Adams: LEFT! , RIGHT! LEFT! , RIGHT! LEFT! , RIGHT! SHOUTING LOUDLY Then she marches the wrong way General Adams: psst, over here She moves to his side Private Harry is standing very tensely (hands by sides head up straight) Captain Hawk: Sir! He Solutes General Adams: Joining your unit will be Harry
She Solutes General Adams: Stand at Ease Harry She relaxes her arms Captain Hawk: Harry, strange name for a girl, Looks around trying to Innocent General Adams: yes, it would be a strange name for a girl, but not for a young chap like Harry here, eh. Slaps her on the back Smiles Nervously Captain Hawk: Is short for Harriet? , Zoe? , Kate? General Adams: Actually its short for Freda Captain Looks at the General with very wide eyes; whisper to Hawk (yes that’s what he said on the first day of training.)Whisper to Hawk In the Back ground Johnny Starts Swaying around on “his” feet (and then falls over Snake helps her up and she falls back down) - this happening over the time of the conversation until Harry goes to the table General Adams: Well I have got to go; oh I almost forgot your new codename is going to be “Blank” Hawk is your Commanding Officer now, he will show you around. He leaves Captain Hawk: so you’re a chap, eh Harry? Private Harry: yes of course sir, I know the offside rule, I fart in bed; - In a Deep Voice Captain Hawk: Let’s put it another way you are a girl and a girl with as much talent for disguise as George Bush has for being peaceful. Private Harry: Oh, Please sir don’t tell, I wanted to see my brothers in combat; I wanted to see war so badly- breaking into a girly voice Captain Hawk: well, you’ve come to the right place battles haven’t been fought this badly since World War One. But anyway on the whole...girl front, you needn’t worry; personally I have no real qualms about girls joining up but unlucky for you the army don’t like it much. Private Harry: well I’ll keep hidden sir Looks surprised Captain Hawk: If you can She moves out of the officer quarters and out into the lunch room to “Snake” and Johnny Sakai’s table
She sits Snake: Hey, you new here? Private Harry: yes Snake: Well, welcome on board Private.....? Private Harry: Harry, Private Harry in James Bond Style Voice Snake: Harry ehh, well nice to have ya with us (to Johnny) say hello! Skunk: oh hi, nice to have you here lady Snake: sorry about Johnny, do not call him a girl; I am sure he has much masculinity as the rest of us. Sunk Raises eyebrow Private Harry: Oh no problem, anyway Nice to be here Snake: Well, let me tell a few things about round here, Number One, watch out for Bill he can be a bit... well odd A wave to and from Dee sitting down Snake: Number Two, Do not eat the turkey, it can kill you Harry: What?! Skunk: He means it no joke, ok, really don’t Harry: Ok then..... Snake: Number Three, Never and I repeat NEVER, insult Captain Hawk Private Harry: Why Is That? Snake: He gets mad, once I said his uniform made him look _________ and I was cleaning out the Septic Tank for 3 weeks, it still haunts my nightmares to this very day he shudders Skunk pats him on the back Private Harry: Right... Is anything else that I should know? Snake: No, Nothing you shouldn’t be able to figure out on your own....... unless you’re stupid of course
They eat and talk in a muttering then The Captain enters the lunch room and goes to the side of the stage Captain Hawk: Hello dear maggots, whom I hold close too my heart He walks on and all the soldiers quickly stand up to solute and all of them do badly apart from ‘Harry’ Skunk: psst... Turn around Then in the background the song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” comes on in the back ground. And the soldiers burst in miming of the song the captain moves down of the block and walk confidently towards “Snake” and he heavy punches him in the Stomach Snake: Sorry Sir He walks back and the soldiers are still saluting Captain Hawk: you can put your hands down They put their hands down Captain Hawk: I have realised that you all seem to be talent less, and useless. Snake: Not true we are Blessings in disguise for this Unit. Complaining in defence Captain Hawk: Well if you are, it's a very good disguise. Snake: It is Captain Hawk: Well you yet to prove your worth now shut up snake Snake: yes sir, sorry sir. Captain Hawk: right anyway as I was saying, err….you new kid…clicking his fingers….Erm…Harry what was I talking about Private Harry: you were talking about training- still girly voice Captain Hawk: ah yes… right useless, talent less people you are going in close quarter combat training, go into room five in a few minutes and wait for further instructions.
Scene 4- Unarmed Combat Class- Fight Room
Soldiers standing around four mats with a block at each corner.
Johnny Sakai pushes his way through the crowd of soldiers
Johnny Sakai: Alright, Who wants to have some Fun! Obviously drunk takes a drink
Murmurs from the soldiers and strange looks
Johnny Sakai: right repeat after me
Johnny Sakai: Hey Ho! Get Audience to join in
Soldiers: Hey Ho!
Repeat Several Times
Johnny Sakai: I said Hey!
Wait for Audience to join in
Repeat Several Times
Johnny Sakai: Alright, now clap with me!
Again get audience involved
Johnny: Hey! Hey! In time with clapping
Johnny Sakai: Well, Done you is a great bunch of Erm....Erm... people that’s it people roll into crowd (on side roll)
Then Captain Hawk steps through soldiers and into the middle of the mats once Skunk has gone into the crowd of soldiers
Captain Hawk: Right, ladies this is unarmed combat training, Johnny Giggles loud and the Captain Looks around but first we are going to show Harry our victory dance....Now He points the gun at them
Skunk: The victory dance...ok......ok let me count down one! A! Three. He falls down on the mats and is dragged of by soldiers and the dance starts.
Captain Hawk: Here you’re going to learn how to fight without weapons. But first I am going to see how much you already know by pitting you in fights mutters from soldiers
Against.......me. Right who wants to go first?
A Soldier steps forward and captain fight and beats him.
And more soldiers try and are defeated. Until Snake comes into the ring with a longer fight but he is beaten still.
Captain Hawk: Hey Harry, have a try
She steps into the ring he approaches her without any real intention of attacking her but then she throws him straight to the floor.
Harry: Oh so sorry! She runs over to check if he is alright
Captain Hawk: what! , I wasn’t ready
He gets up and runs at her but is beaten again and even more humility
Soldiers are laughing at him now.
He gets up a final time and is beaten with even more humility than last time; she walks off the mats in a confident stride then sits down at the edge
The captain starts crying and whimpering
Hawk goes for one more swing on Harry who isn’t there anymore and narrowly misses another soldier in front of him Captain Hawk: Right, you two fight and show me what you have learned, I’ll be back in minute, I have a... Erm.... some dust in my eyeeeeees crying voice
Scene 5 Argument over Harry- Hawks’s room Hawk is crying in a sink or something then the General Storms in holding a gun up Captain Hawk: Sir, What are you doing! General Adams: Don’t give me that crap! Captain Hawk: Sir, I don’t understa.... Cutting in General Adams: Hes she..he...she..he..he..he..she? Harry is a girl! Getting confused Captain Hawk: Sir, I think you are mistaken, she is not a girl, now put the gun down He Lowers it then fires a round in the air hawk falls over being shocked by the bullet being fired General Adams: I Her, I mean him in the shower Captain Hawk: sir, we talked about looking in the troop’s shower it’s a bad habit and its lowers their self-esteem. General Adams: yes, I know, but him, she HE... hasn’t got man bits ‘Harry’ has arrived hiding behind an object Captain Hawk: He was castrated! Harry Stares In shock Yes her, I mean he was castrated! Trying to make excuses General Adams: Well, She...he... she has.... Makes gesture to point out Captain Hawk: Erm...well err... ‘Harry’ gets up and knocks on the door Captain Hawk: Ah, the door got to get it, laughs in a nervous way He opens the door in horror, to find its Harry (Hair damp from shower?) Captain Hawk: Whisper to Harry (What the Hell are you doing here!) General Adams: Is There a Problem, Hawk? Captain Hawk: No, no no no no no not a problem at all General Adams: So Harry, have you got anything to tell us? Private Harry: No, Sir I keep nothing from the army, I am the Army’s bitch sir! General Adams: This will be the end of us all Hawks if the patriots find out, if you don’t deal with this! I will!. He walks out Hawk flops down into his chair Captain Hawk: Right Harry, you best watch your back for a while Private Harry: yes, sir Captain Hawk: That’s not just an order that’s to protect your self Private Harry: Why what can the general do inside the army Looks Surprised Captain Hawk: Tell do have you every visited the planet earth lately, has nice views u’know Private Harry: No need to be sarcastic sir Captain Hawk: right, when ever hasn’t there been a time? Harry Storms out
Scene 6- Kidnap! - Sleeping area- And Captains Drill
Some soldiers are preparing to go to sleep
Captain Hawk: right you’ll be waking you up at 6:00 am for breakfast then the next training so be sharp.
All soldiers: Goodnight Captain!
Captain Hawk: Shut you Twits
Two Kitted up soldiers appear and are moving through the sleeping area, muttering things like “stupid Americans” “junk, ours is much better” “when can I go back Moscow” etc they walk up to someone’s bed (Johnny Sakai) and cover their mouth and start to carry them out but make a slight noise when going, Harry is woken up and sees them and gets up and sneaks over to them.
They are carrying them between
Hunter: Do we have the right one Volgin? In strong Russian accent with professional tone
Volgin: Hmm, let me check ? In strong Russian accent with professional tone, he looks at the face this is meant a lady right Hunter?
Hunter: Yes it is Volgin
Volgin: well this is not a woman
Hunter: Let me see, Alphonse
He hits him over the back of the head
Volgin: Never, use my real name in the field, or we’re rumbled!
Hunter: Sorry forgot, right now he looks oh my god it’s a man
Volgin: So who are we looking for?
‘Harry’ steps out/onto a block
Harry: ME!
Hunter: Ah, god we’ve been rumbled, by another man, I give up, I give up hands up please don’t hurt me starts begging and crying
Volgin: get up you wuss, you did have several years of KGB training if you care to remember
Hunter: oh yeah, Na zdarovie!
Volgin: That means good health you idiot!
Hunter: Well actually in some regions of modern day Russia it means kiss my.....he is struck by Harry before he can finish his sentence, and flies over a block (with a mats behind)
Volgin: getting into combat position Right, you little punk get ready for some pain and misery like never before, closes his eyes then he too is struck by Harry and goes over the block
Harry laughs
They both jump up/climb up onto the block which they flipped over and go into a combat stance.
Harry does the “bring it” sign then a soldier freezes the scene “charmed Style” he walks up to the edge of the stage
Random Solider with Powers (tom): Ladies and gentlemen, the next scene is bad for youngsters so look away now little ones, everyone else, let’s get ready to rumble!
Private Harry: Oh thanks starts dancing to “Lets Get ready to rumble” music cuts out for Random Soldier
Random Soldier: No, no, just fight, ok?
Private Harry: Ok thanks bye
And she does a cartwheel onto a stick and picks it up while so, she swings it in at the two Russians Feet they jump down at the same time as dodging it she swings again they do a matrix style dodge they fall over from bending back too much. They sit up
Both Russians: Oh Shit!
The Russians Pick up Sticks
They fight and the hitman with the stick is knocked flying off stage (again onto a mat)
For A Finishing Move she throws them into the two Blocks (or a pile of cardboard ones) with charmed style psychic throw and they are unconscious
She defeats them in the end and goes over to ‘Snake’
Private Harry: Snake!
Snake: mumbling Liquid! Harry jumps back Otacon what’s the situation.......Metal Gear! Big Boss what are you doing in my tree house.
Private Harry: Looks at the audience with a confused look on her face
Snake! Respond! Snakeeeeeeee!
Snake: Wakes up huh, why did you wake me up? Now annoyed
Private Harry: Because there are two unconscious terrorists in the hall
Snake: Oh, well pull them to the Cells and lock them up, ok goodnight
Harry annoyed swears under her breath (do not let the audience hear it all)
She drags them off stage
She comes back onto stage after little while (with more muttering from troops)
She goes back into bed and sleeps (maybe a card goes past to point out a time difference) (or a distraction, so that someone can change an alarm clock to later on)
Hawk comes onto stage with a symbol or frying pan or a remote (for an alarm) on a stereo. Starts clanging or presses play on the remote and starts shouting
Captain Hawk: Our Country is at war! come on get ready for another pointless desert trek. Shouting Loud
All soldiers get up and start to get ready and trying to go into a formation
Captain Hawk: Come on you jarheads! Shouting Loud
Soldiers are all rushing around
Soldier (Pick one): Can I ask a question captain
Captain Hawk: yes, with a sense of dread
Soldier: What does war mean sir!
The captain punches him/her in the face and he is on the floor
The soldiers got into a line formation with weapons at their side
Captain Hawk: So guess what soldiers, this is a drill. Now time for a little good bit of old fashion drill sergeanting
Soldiers: Oh god not again, someone kill me now, why now, its 3am for god sake all said by different soldiers, one starting crying quietly
Captain goes to the end of the line
Captain Hawk: Soldier!
Solider: Sir!
Captain Hawk: Are you a little girl!
Soldier: No Sir!
Captain Hawk: You wish you stinking bag of cow muck, Moves onto Next Soldier right are you a girl, who likes pretty ponies and pink wall paper!
Soldier: No Sir!
Captain Hawk: right....
He approaches Harry
Captain Hawk: You are you a gir....... He remembers that it’s “Harry”
Captain Hawk: Never Mind
She smirks
Captain Hawk: You Snake, does your captain look good in his suit?
Snake hesitates
Captain Hawk: Well?!
Snake: Captain looks great in his military outfit sir!
Captain Hawk: So are you gay grunt!
Snake: No Sir, I have a girlfriend back home sir!
Captain Hawk: of course you do, you’ll get over her
Snake: Yes Sir!
Captain Hawk: No, No don’t answer that question
Snake: Sir, Yes, Sir!
Captain Hawk: Ok let’s try something else, you do not speak unless I tell you to ok....Good, Pauses right lets try some marching, get in formation
Tell them to march on spot in various ways
Captain Hawk: Right March Back!
Soldiers march towards the stage back wall
Soldier: Sir! There a wall here!
The captain sighs
Captain Hawk: Halt! Turn Around! Pair’s formation! March Forwards!
They Will March Down, and through the middle of the audience and go to the back
Captain Hawk: Line Formation, March on the Spot! Pauses March Back to Me! ok we are done, see you in the morning.
All go back to bed
Soldiers:Thank God that’s over
I Was Lucky
Time for Some Quality Sleep
Two or three cry themselves to sleep
Scene 7- “Six Chances” and Final Duel Soldier all standing around talking to each other the Captain and the General, Hawk walks in very slowly and carefully, while the General Seems to have a plan that he is smiling about they stand there for a few seconds before the soldiers all line up and solute. Hawk nods and they put their hands down. Fox: Last Night, as you know was a terrorist attack, and I believe these terrorist’s had inside information, so I have given Captain Hawk The authority to do what ever he needs to do, to find the spies. Isn’t That Right Hawk? Captain Hawk: Yes Sir in a slightly depressed voice Harry: What are you talking about sir? Fox: You’ll See, Harry, I’ll be over here watching the show, I do quite enjoy watching Hawk Methods, it’s about the only thing I like about him Hawk Smiles Grimly Captain Hawk: Right, Lets Get Started you stand there...yes there, what do you know? At the soldier and where he is to stand etc, Soldier: Sir, Nothing, Sir! Captain Hawk: Right....now listen carefully I am going to put one bullet between these to two revolvers, and then I will pull the trigger six times in a row, are you ready? He Starts To Juggle Them, then after a few throws he catches one and pulls the trigger six times or until a “Bullet” goes off, (This Will be a cap in real life) if the bullet does go off then he dies. Not Shot Captain Hawk: Hmmm, Its Seems you are innocent, get up before I change my mind. Fox: Bravo, Hawk! Showing the Grim Reality of War The Soldier Scurries If Shot Captain Hawk: Hmmm, He may have been innocent but the main casualties of war are the Innocents, take him away, now! Fox: Right Carry On Two Soldiers Drag Him off Stage
Captain Hawk: Right Next! You know the drill? The Soldier Nods Captain Hawk: Here we go! After A Few Seconds Second Soldier: I don’t know anything! Again Same Method
Not Shot Captain Hawk: You were lucky and you should be grateful Fox: Unfounate Hawk isn’t it? Harry: What Is? Skunk: Yea, What is? Fox; That He Wasn’t shot If Shot Captain Hawk: Oh Dear, he was unlucky. It’s a Shame for him. Fox: Quite right Hawk Captain Hawk: Next! A Soldier is thrown out in front of Hawk Hawk Starts Very Quickly (he will not put a cap in so that he does not get shot) After a few empty shots Third Soldier: Ah...I gotta get Out of Here! He Runs Off Stage Captain Hawk: You Two Take Care of him Skunk: hey, I am not shooting a friend of mine Soldier: Me Neither Fox: Tell em’ the way it is! Captain Hawk: You Are Soldier; Today Ally could be tomorrow’s adversary as quickly as the wind changes, and now you must take down this new threat, FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS!, GOD DAMMIT! Skunk and Soldier: Right Sir, On Our way They Quickly Move out We hear the sound of gunfire and they return with glum faces. Skunk: We have done as you asked Captain Hawk: Good, Now....Snake, Stand up on the stage of wonders Snake: How can you suspect me! I thought you trusted me! Captain Hawk: I Trust No-one Snake Steps Up, slightly on edge Snake: Of course, I bet you don’t even trust yourself Captain Hawk: But this isn’t about me, it’s about you Points So your turn, ready? He Puts a bullet in the third slot on a revolver and does not spin the barrel. He begins fires the revolver with the bullet in first, then the one with out, and when the gun with the bullet is about to be caught and fired... Harry Either 1. Catches the gun in mid air and fires it away from snake, then drops the gun 2. Disarms Hawk or Knocks him away so he misses snake Captain Hawk: Private Harry, Do Have Something to say? Harry: Yes, you better stop now Captain Hawk: Or What? Harry: you don’t what to know Fox: Hawk this seems a perfect opportunity for you special victims Captain Hawk: Yes your right Fox Well, I have something special Planned for these occasions as Fox said He Pulls a Bullet from around his neck Again I Will put this bullet between these revolvers but I will mix them up and you will pick which one you think the bullet is in, then I will pick up the remaining one, next we will fire until one of us gets the bullet in us. Private Harry: No... I Won’t... Captain Hawk: You will do this private, you will do this or I shoot you. Private Harry: Fine Captain Hawk: What’s your name? Private Harry: Harry Captain Hawk: No Not That Name, your real name Private Harry; Freda Captain Hawk: Mine Is Roy, so we are equal now huh? Private Harry: Sure She Nods Slowly Hawk Juggles the Two Revolvers to mix them up then once mixed up he places them on the floor Captain Hawk: C’mon Pick One! She Picks One then He picks the remaining one they both Turn around and walk in opposite directions, they then turn around again. And Begin Pulling the Trigger to find the bullet. Harry Wins After an unknown number of shots Harry’s gun fires and Hawk Looks like He Has Been Hit by the Bullet, But then Seems Fine and starts laughing Captain Hawk: It’s a Blank! He Moves Towards Harry still laughing That Was Fun! Still Laughing She Offers Him the gun back Captain Hawk: No Keep It as a reminder, as a “Lucky Charm” if you will. You are dismissed. He walks just behind the rest of the Remaining Unit and off the stage. Close Curtain with Harry Still on Stage. Then Re Open for Johnny to go on the stage Skunk:
THE END (1)
Hawk Wins After an unknown number of shots Hawk’s gun fires and Harry Braces herself for impact, but she realizes she has not been hit, Hawk Starts Laughing and Harry glares at him with a mix of anger and confusion. Captain Hawk: It’s a Blank! He Moves Towards Harry still laughing That Was Fun! Still Laughing She Offers Him the gun back Captain Hawk: Thank you very much Harry He walks just behind the rest of the Remaining Unit and off the stage. Close Curtain with Harry Still on Stage. Then Re Open for Johnny to go on the stage Skunk:
THE END (2)