Hi everyone, thanks for coming to my page! I'm an average teenage girl from Washington state. I don't have a lot of hobbies because school is a pretty big priority for me, but I do spend quite a bit of time taking dance classes. During the week I take ballet, pointe, jazz, and contemporary. With both dance and school taking up so much time, I don't really have room for any other activities. Eventually, I want to become a registered nurse, and maybe even a nurse practitioner.
Before I created this account, I didn't really know how complex Wikipedia is and how much of a community it really is. I find it really interesting how much work and different voices get put in to making one article. I'm not quite sure yet what type of topics I would like to write about, but I'm eager to find out. There are just so many possibilities when it comes to Wikipedia articles. Who knows, maybe I won't even like writing articles. Thanks for visiting my page, come again!
This user is a student editor in Everett_Community_College/English_Composition_3730_(Fall). |
Article Critique
editThis summer I went to a summer camp down in California. Before I got there, I wanted to know more about it, but the Wikipedia page for it wasn't much help. Making sure Wikipedia articles are updated and edited could help others down the road. I visited the Hume Lake Christian Camps page on Wikipedia, and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: citations, description, and structure.
Citations
editThis specific article doesn't rely on evidence or research from sources, but citations are still an important part to any article. While some of the citations led to well written articles that go along with the piece, other citations were very outdated or didn't even lead to the correct source. Out of fourteen citations, none of them were written later then 2016. In-fact, at least half of the sources are from the 1900's. Updating some of the citations would be a great way to keep the content up to date.
Description
editMost of the article just refers to the history of the camp, but doesn't go into much depth about what the camp is like in present time. When people look up Hume Lake Christian Camps, they will most likely be looking for information on what happens at camp. Adding information about the fun adventures that are available during camp would really help expand the information that the article is supplying.
Structure
editFor the majority of the article, it is written in paragraph formatting. There are certain parts in the article that the author(s) break this and just do single sentences. The flow of the sentence structure is really thrown off by this. Maintaining a solid structure throughout the whole article would add flow to the sound of it.
Conclusion
editThe article is pretty good altogether, it just needs a few simple revisions. These changes wouldn't make the article perfect, but they would add some dynamics to it.
Adding more recent citations would make the information more relevant, putting more description would add more detail, and keeping a constant structure would improve the article itself.